


how to stop your headache™

by tsukimiiyo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A bunch of my headcanons :'), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barely there AsaNoya, Barely there Kagehina, Barely there KyouHaba, Barely there Tsukkiyama, Chatfic with a plot, Crack, DaiSuga watches them suffer lmao, Denial, Getting Together, Insecurities, Jealousy, Kind of there but not really DaiSuga, M/M, Mild Sexual Harrassment, Mutual Pining, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury™, Pining, Shirabu Kenjirou is a Little Shit, They all pine, Yes it gets angsty, chatfic, crackfic, graduating, groupchats, mild homophobia, no beta we die like daichi, not that serious though, self doubt, very badly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25609162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukimiiyo/pseuds/tsukimiiyo
Summary: dadchi:so who are the people that need help?kuroosteraddedOikawa Tooru,Shirabu Kenjirou, andYaku Morisukekuroosterchanged the groupchat name to:every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gangOikawa Tooru:wow that actually sums up my lifedadchi:oh noBokutoes:oh yes⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅OR: DaiSugaunwillinglyhelp a bunch of idiots get their man before graduation.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 147
Kudos: 937





	1. help us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Oikawa Tooru:** wow that actually sums up my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~! Welcome people who are new to this story and hello to the people who have joined me from the original version :D
> 
> If you've read the Original Version tysm for coming and I hope you like the rewritten version more!  
> (hopefully i don't fucking archive this one too god)
> 
> Enjoy :)))
> 
> EDIT (7/10/2020): chapter modified to follow original fic more. read pre-fic notes in chapter six for reasoning

** Brokuto **

_Today at 3:58pm_

**(3:58) You:** bro

 **(3:58) You:** my broiest of bros

 **(3:58) You:** cmon bro i need help, don't leave me hanging bro :(

**(3:58) Brokuto:** i'd never leave you hanging bro :(

 **(3:58) Brokuto:** so what's up bro

**(3:59) You:** um soooo

 **(3:59) You:** i need help with my love life bro :(

**(3:59) Brokuto:** OHOHOHO

 **(3:59) Brokuto:** and who is it bro ;)

**(3:59) You:** :(( 

**(3:59) You: ...** kenma

**(3:59) Brokuto:** wow bro i could've never guessed

**(3:59) You:** bro :(

**(3:59) Brokuto:** i'm sorry bro but ur like

 **(3:59) Brokuto:** super obv

**(3:59) You:** rlly :(

**(3:59) Brokuto:** sorry bro but yep :((

 **(4:00) Brokuto:** dw bro ur not in this alone

 **(4:00) Brokuto:** i, too, am pining for someone

**(4:00) You:** akaashi?

**(4:00) Brokuto:** yeah :((

**(4:00) You:** well shit bro idk what to do now

 **(4:00) You:** u were my only hope :((

**(4:00) Brokuto:** no bro u arent hopeless

 **(4:00) Brokuto:** i know someone who could help

**(4:00) You:** omg who 

**(4:00) Brokuto:** bro

 **(4:00) Brokuto:** daichi? captain of karasuno

 **(4:00) Brokuto:** dating suga? vice-captain of karasuno?

**(4:00) You:** THEY'RE DATING??

 **(4:01) You:** HOLY SHIT??

**(4:01) Brokuto:** BRO YOU NEVER NOTICED?? THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT??

**(4:01) You:** SHUT UP BRO I-

 **(4:01) You:** DUDE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT UR TOTALLY RIGHT

**(4:01) Brokuto:** i'm always right >:(

**(4:01) You:** my bad sorry bro :(

 **(4:01) You:** lets make a gc w him he can help us

**(4:01) Brokuto:** dontreplaceme:(

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

_Today at 4:02pm_

**Kuroo Tetsurou** added **Bokuto Koutarou** and **Sawamura Daichi** to a groupchat. 

**Kuroo Tetsurou** named the group: **help us**

 **Kuroo Tetsurou** changed their alias to: **k** **urooster**

**kurooster:** daICHIIIIII

**Bokuto Koutarou** changed their alias to: **B** **okutoes**

**Bokutoes:** daichi

 **Bokutoes:** the best person ever (other than akaashi) pls help us :((

**kurooster:** wow

**Bokutoes:** the best person ever (other than akaashi and kuroo) pls help us :((

**kurooster:** thats better

 **kurooster:** but you still didnt say it the first time :((

 **kurooster:** heart been broke so many times

**Bokutoes:** no bb im sorry :((

**Sawamura Daichi:** wtf

 **Sawamura Daichi:** what do you guys need i'm in training rn

**Bokutoes:** DAICHI

 **Bokutoes:** MY SAVIOUR

**Sawamura Daichi:** oh no

 **Sawamura Daichi:** this gc is gonna give me a headache isn't it

**Bokutoes:** no bro pls help us

**kurooster** : we're dealing w/ some love issues rn

 **kurooster:** we need help from the one and only sawamura daichi who is in a relationship!!

**Sawamura Daichi:** huh

 **Sawamura Daichi:** i can't talk now i need to go and play

 **Sawamura Daichi:** but koushi is having a break i can ask him to help??

**kurooster:** omg yes pls

**Bokutoes:** yes!!

**Sawamura Daichi:** alr

**Bokutoes:** thaNK You DAD

**Sawamura Daichi:** huh

 **Sawamura Daichi:** what is it

 **Sawamura Daichi:** IS THIS BOKUTO

**Bokutoes:** IS THIS SUGA

**kurooster:** WAIT DONT FORGET ME D:

**Sawamura Daichi** changed their alias to: **dadchi**

**dadchi:** alright he's gonna kill me but honestly i'm fine with that ;)

**kurooster:** damnnn suga 

**dadchi:** ;)))

 **dadchi:** so whats up

**Bokutoes:** the sky

 **Bokutoes:** heaven

 **Bokutoes:** death's door

 **Bokutoes:** jeSUS HIMSELF-

**dadchi:** i think i perfer to have asahi on earth thanks

**Bokutoes:** LKASJSD

**kurooster:** ANYWAY

 **kurooster:** i think i have a crush on someone and idk how to tell them

 **kurooster:** i literally wanna avoid them but at the same time i know that won't help me

 **kurooster:** help

**Bokutoes:** same here

**dadchi:** ohhh reallyyy ;)) whos the unfortunate person

**Bokutoes:** uM wow rude ok i didn't expect that from *you* suga >:(

**dadchi:** theres a lot of things u don't know about me ;)

**kurooster:** oh ;))))

**Bokutoes:** wow suga ur my new favourite person

**kurooster:** uM WOW EXCUSE ME

**Bokutoes:** second to my bro

**kurooster:** thanks babe

**dadchi:** are you sure you guys aren't dating

**kurooster:** unfortunately

 **kurooster:** ik some people would *kill* to date this face ;)

**dadchi:** mmm no, not really

**kurooster:** ok wow

 **kurooster:** anyway i like kenma--

**dadchi:** oh really

**Bokutoes:** and i like akaashi

**dadchi:** yeah actually you guys are very

 **dadchi:** obviously pining

 **dadchi:** bokuto you basically stare at akaashi all day pretty sure he thinks your weird

**Bokutoes:** UR SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME???

**dadchi:** well yeah i mean idk what you want me to do?

 **dadchi:** how do you want me to help

**kurooster:** idk how to act around him

**dadchi:** just act like you usually do

 **dadchi:** give him small hints and stuff but not too big

**kurooster:** i dont get it

 **kurooster:** wdymm

**Bokutoes:** bruh 

**Bokutoes:** suga? u there?

**kurooster:** SUGA

**Bokutoes:** SUGA???

**kurooster:** SUGA KOUSHI??

**Bokutoes:** SUGAWARA KOUSHI??

**kurooster:** it says he read our messages

**Bokutoes:** um im offended uh

**dadchi:** omg sorry guys

**Bokutoes:** bruh wtf were u doing??

**kurooster:** u left us on seen u monster

**dadchi:** uh i was

 **dadchi:** uh

 **dadchi:** *um*

**Bokutoes:** oyaoya what did u do ;)

**kurooster:** bet he was staring at daichi's thighs

**dadchi:** nO!!!

**Bokutoes:** he used three exclamation marks

**kurooster:** thats mega gay

**dadchi:** alright i was staring at his thighs i cant help it :(

**kurooster:** accurate

**Bokutoes:** so? explain?

**dadchi:** the love thing or me staring at his thighs

**kurooster:** i dont wanna know what goes thru ur head when u stare at his thighs

**dadchi:** wow ok

 **dadchi:** what i mean is

 **dadchi:** act like you usually do with kenma, but drop small hints that you like him sometimes

 **dadchi:** like for example do nice gestures like make him food and shit

 **dadchi:** stuff like that

**kurooster:** why is this so complicated

**Bokutoes:** bro ikr

**dadchi:** its not hard you're just incompetent 

**Bokutoes:** OKAY EXCUSE ME 

**kurooster:** OBJECTION.

**dadchi:** denied, sit the fuck back down.

**kurooster:** fuck

**Bokutoes:** ha you suck

**dadchi:** shut the fuck up bokuhoe

**Bokutoes:** UM WOW OK SUGA I DIDNT KNOW U WERE THE DEVIL

**dadchi:** *there's alot of things u dont know about me*

**kurooster:** all of a sudden this doesn't seem like a great idea

**dadchi:** oh daichi is back

 **dadchi:** cya

**Bokutoes:** thank fucking god

**dadchi:** i hate u too bokuhoe :)

 **dadchi:** kuro's the better child

**kurooster:** thanks mom ;D

**dadchi:** ;D

**Bokutoes:** UM I FEEL EXCLUDED

**kurooster:** *shut up bokuhoe*

**Bokutoes:** *kurooster head*

**kurooster:** *bokutoes fetish*

**Bokutoes:** I DON'T HAVE A TOES FETISH

**kurooster:** explain ur name u weirdo

**Bokutoes:** FUCK YOu

**kurooster:** anytime ;)

**dadchi:** um wtf

 **dadchi:** wtf is wrong with you all

 **dadchi:** please be quiet jesus christ

**Bokutoes:** yes dad

**dadchi:** look all you need to do is act normal in front of Kenma and Akaashi

 **dadchi:** don't make up some fake personality that 1) is humiliating and 2) that they might fall in love with

 **dadchi:** you don't want them falling in love with someone who isn't you

**Bokutoes:** wow wise words

**kurooster:** yeah thanks dad

**dadchi:** don't call me that you weirdos

**Bokutoes:** damn okay 

**Bokutoes:**

**Bokutoes:**...*dad*

**dadchi:** you're grounded

**Bokutoes:** NO DAD PLZ

**kurooster:** hahahah

 **kurooster:** wait is this jus a gc for us or

 **kurooster:** coz i know some ppl who do be pining and they dont know what to do

**dadchi:** wtf is everyone dying or smth

**kurooster:** basically

 **kurooster:** every passing second is one step closer to death

**dadchi:**...thank you for that insight-

**kurooster:** you're welcome

**dadchi:** sure ig i could help them

**Bokutoes:** omg what if

 **Bokutoes:** what if we set a goal to help us get with our crushes

 **Bokutoes:** like we have to at least confess to them by the time we graduate

**dadchi:** we're graduating in a few months this seems like a bit of a stretch...

**kurooster:** yeah and some of our crushes are 2nd years when we graduate they won't be w/ us

 **kurooster:** whats the point we wont even be w/ them

 **kurooster:** lets just give up and die now

**Bokutoes:** bro since when were u so negative

**kurooster:** kenma probably likes someone else idk

 **kurooster:** wHo would like me anyway

**dadchi:** kuro don't think that smh

 **dadchi:** have some good memories to graduate with

**Bokutoes:** yeah dude

**kurooster::** ig you're right

**dadchi:** so who are the people that need help?

**kurooster** added **Oikawa Tooru** , **Shirabu Kenjirou,** and **Yaku Morisuke**

 **kurooster** changed the groupchat name to: **every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang**

**Oikawa Tooru:** wow that actually sums up my life

**dadchi:** oh no

**Bokutoes:** oh yes

**Yaku Morisuke:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,,,
> 
> i don't have anything else to say so???  
> uh  
> hi  
> wait i alr said that
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/moonr.xse/)  
> [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/9tVV9rr)


	2. you are mistaken, semi is a bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Yaku Morisuke:** who tf is semi?
> 
> **Okill me:** he's shiratorizawa's pinch server and setter
> 
>  **Oikill me:** he's cool
> 
> **Shirabu Kenjirou:** you are mistaken, semi is a bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT (7/10/2020): chapter modified to follow original fic more. read pre-fic notes in chapter six for reasoning

_5:15pm_

**every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang**

**Oikawa Tooru:** wow that actually sums up my life

**dadchi:** oh no

**Bokutoes:** oh yes

**Oikawa Tooru** changed their alias to: **Oikill me**

**Oikill me:** perfect

**dadchi:** damn this gc is depressing wtf

**Oikill me:** you can't complain all of us are going to die alone except for you

**Bokutoes:** ^

**kurooster:** ^^

**dadchi:** you aren't going to die alone jesus christ

**Shirabu Kenjirou:** um why am I here?

**Yaku Morisuke:** i think its coz we have love issues 

**Shirabu Kenjirou:** ok yeah but why am i here

**Oikill me:** because you're hopelessly in love with semi

**Yaku Morisuke:** who tf is semi?

**Okill me:** he's shiratorizawa's pinch server and setter

**Oikill me:** he's cool

**Shirabu Kenjirou:** you are mistaken, semi is a bitch

**Shirabu Kenjirou:** i hate him so much

**Oikill me** changed **Shirabu** **Kenjirou** 's alias to: **saltybu**

**Yaku Morisuke:** wow ive known Shirabu-kun for 5 seconds and thats already so accurate

**kurooster:** yakuuuu

**Yaku Morisuke:** oh fuck no

**kurooster:** oh fuck yes

**saltybu:** oikawa i hope you realise that you s u c k

**Oikill me:** yes ive realised lmao

**Bokutoes:** dadchi is our mentor and saviour

**dadchi:** no im not please stop 

**dadchi:** im just not a coward

**saltybu:** yeah u guys suck just ask them out alr god

**Yaku Morisuke:** OK YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK 

**kurooster** changed **Morisuke Yaku** 's alias to: **yakuwu**

**yakuwu:** no

**kurooster:** yes ;)))

**saltybu:** wtf do u mean oK yOu hAve nO rooM tO tAlk

**Oikill me:** bruh

**Oikill me:** semishira anyone?

**kurooster:** yes

**yakuwu:** y e s

**yakuwu:** even tho idk what he looks like i 100% ship

**Oikill me:** semi is pretty

**Oikill me:** like me

**Bokutoes:** you wish

**Oikill me:** rude :(

**saltybu:** ok wow

**dadchi:** we've seen the way you look at Semi during Miyagi Prefectural Qualifiers

**kurooster:** HAHA DAICHI CALLING YOU OUT

**saltybu:** yeah i looked at him with /pure hatered/

**dadchi:** mmm nope it looked more like 'damn im gay' to me

**yakuwu:** i-

**saltybu:** BITCH

**Oikill me:** this situation makes me see daichi and karasuno in a whole new light

**dadchi:**

**yakuwu:** i rlly want to know what he looks like

**saltybu:** here

**Oikill me:** ah yes, denial~

**Oikill me:** here's an actual picture

**saltybu:** HOW DO YOU HAVE THAT??

**Oikill me:** satori-chan ;)

**Oikill me:** you simp

**saltybu:** fuck off

**yakuwu:** omg thats semi??

**saltybu:** yeah we're from stz

**saltybu:** and the only people i know here are daichi and oikawa so-

**saltybu:** what schools are you from

**dadchi:** ok lets introduce ourselves

**dadchi:** i'm sawamura daichi, captain of karasuno

**Bokutoes:** bokuto koutarou, captain and ace of fukurodani

**kurooster:** kuroo tetsurou, captain of nekoma

**yakuwu:** i'm yaku morisuke, libero of nekoma

**Oikill me:** oikawa tooru, captain of aoba johsai

**saltybu:** shirabu kenjirou, setter for stz

**yakuwu:** wow powerhouse school huh

**saltybu:** yep

**dadchi:** but we beat you

**Oikill me:** shut up daichi

**Bokutoes:** looks like the captains are having a hard time lol

**dadchi:** yep seems like it

**kurooster:** speaking of captains

**kurooster:** how is karasuno so close like

**kurooster:** my teammates barely respect me

**yakuwu:** thats because you suck

**kurooster:** exhibit A

**Oikill me:** same how do you make them respect u i wanna know

**Bokutoes:** same

**kurooster:** stfu they respect you

**dadchi:** uh

**dadchi:** well the captain needs to be respectful to the teammates too and vice versa

**saltybu:** yeah oikawa

**Oikill me:** yoU AREN'T ON MY TEAM??

**Oikill me:** yeah that's so easy my whole team basically hates me :')

**dadchi:** i'm sure they don't hate you-

**kurooster:** its ok u have me ;)

**Oikill me:** who are you

**kurooster:** ouch

**Bokutoes:** its ok u have me ;))

**kurooster:**

****

**Oikill me:** jkjk i know u, u know that :((

**kurooster:**

****

**saltybu:** well, i mean, everyone in stz respects their captain but thats coz hes an inspiration

**yakuwu:** ushijima wakatoshi, right?

**saltybu:** yeah 

**Oikill me:** he's not he fucking sucks

**kurooster:** thats not what u said when u said that he's a good friend

**yakuwu:** HE DID?? WHEN??

**dadchi:** captains chat

**Bokutoes:**

> **Oikawhore:** wanna say thanks for being great friends, especially you ushi-chan
> 
> **Oikawhore:** idk what i'd do without you

**saltybu:** aWWWW

**Oikill me:** NO N O N O

**yakuwu:** lmaoo oikawa is ushijima ur crush or-

**Oikill me:** EW OFC NOT

**kurooster:** Tendou if he was here:

****

**Bokutoes:** who is it then ;)

**Bokutoes:** lmao the accuracy

**Oikill me:** shut up you alr know so

**saltybu:** yeah but i dont

**kurooster:** idk either ;)

**yakuwu:** who is it actually

**Oikill me:** uh

**dadchi:** you can tell them when you're ready but if you can't tell them we can't all help you

**dadchi:** speaking of which we should get semishira together

**saltybu:** i _dont_ have a crush on that bitch

**yakuwu:** then who do you have a crush on

**saltybu:** no one

**dadchi:** cmon guys the goal is to get everyone with their crush before we graduate

**dadchi:** at this pace everyone is going to be depressed

**Oikill me:** not like we're depressed already or anything

**kurooster** : ^

**dadchi:** lets start with semishira coz it seems like everyone knows shirabu has a crush on him

**dadchi:** in this gc

**yakuwu:** hell yeah

**saltybu:** i alr said i dont have a crush on him

**dadchi:** lemme ask my team what they think

**saltybu:** what why-

**yakuwu:** coz everyone can tell u like him

**yakuwu:** ive never even seen u and i can tell u love himmm

**dadchi:** no, because there are quite alot of couples on my team

**yakuwu:** huh? who?

**dadchi:** me and suga, asahi and nishinoya, hinata and kageyama, yamaguchi and tsukishima

**kurooster:** TSUKKI :((

**Bokutoes:** TSUKKIIII??? HINATAAAA?

**Bokutoes:** MY KOHAIIII

**Oikill me:** ooo good for chibi-chan~

**Oikill me:** when even the saltiest bitch is better at relationships than you :')

**saltybu:** ok

**dadchi:**

> **Karasue us™**
> 
> **dad™** : hey does anyone think shirabu has a crush on semi
> 
> **mom** **™:** yep
> 
> **boke:** who?
> 
> **the king:** we versed them, they're from shiratorizawa
> 
> **boke:** yeah but who
> 
> **the king:** shirabu is the one with brown hair and was setting
> 
> **the king:** semi is the one with blonde hair dyed at the tips
> 
> **boke:** AH YEah i could tell the setter kept looking at semi but i thought it was for advice
> 
> **rolling noya:** ;)))
> 
> **rolling noya:** i ship
> 
> **mom™:** bruh its so obv they like eachother
> 
> **tanakick me:** yeAH I WAS SCREAMINGGG
> 
> **mom™:** tanaka stop screaming or you're grounded

**saltybu:**

**saltybu:** karasuno sucks

**dadchi:** karasuno hates you too

**yakuwu:** karasue us™ omg what a nice gc name

**yakuwu:** **@kurooster** name our gc smth nice

**kurooster:** you barely speak in that gc coz ur head over heels for lev

**yakuwu:** HOW COULD YOU OUT ME LIKE THIS

**Bokutoes:** YOU LIKE LEVVVV

**kurooster:** yeah but he doesn't know what to do half the time

**Bokutoes:** i feel so lonely im the only one in fukurodani

**saltybu:** its ok im the only one in stz

**Bokutoes:** :')

**saltybu:** >:')

**dadchi:** ok

**dadchi:** lets make it that at the end of this month you would've at least confessed

**Oikill me:** idk why you're worried semi is rlly nice

**saltybu:** no hes FUCKING not

**Oikill me:** have u considered that he's mean to u coz ur mean to him

**saltybu:**

**saltybu:**

****

**Oikill me:** if u want i can ask him if he likes someone

**saltybu:**

**yahaha no:** whats this? oikawa being nice?

**Oikill me:** i-

**Oikill me:** r u d e

**Oikill me:**

> **(5:45) You:** semi
> 
> **(5:45) You:** semi
> 
> **(5:45) You:** semi
> 
> **(5:45) Eita-chan:** sup
> 
> **(5:45) You:** do you like someone~? ;)
> 
> **(5:45) Eita-chan:** why are u asking me this lmao
> 
> **(5:46): You:** ;)
> 
> **(5:46): Eita-chan:** yeah ig i like someone-

**saltybu:** i-

**saltybu:** it's probably not me-

**saltybu:** omg im gonna be lonely forever

**dadchi:** god stop being so negative

**saltybu:** dude think about it theres literally no way he likes me

**saltybu:** im so rude to him wtf

**saltybu:**

**Bokutoes:** we'll get there eventually

**yakuwu:**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~! Sorry for not posting. I was studying for probably around 8 hours yesterday for my stUPID science assessment. I still have assessments coming up so updates will probably be kind of slow? I also have badminton training/competitions that end late too so that's fun.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed :))  
> [also i didnt proofread this haha help me :')]
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/moonr.xse/)  
> [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/9tVV9rr)


	3. that's what a person with a crush would say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Uhh, what's this?
> 
> **Oikill me:** FUCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT (7/10/2020): chapter modified to follow original fic more. read pre-fic notes in chapter six for reasoning

_7:30am_

**every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang**

**saltybu:** GUYS GUYSGUYSGUYS

**Oikill me:** what the fuck do u want

**saltybu:** I jUST ALMOST CONFESSED

**saltybu:**

**dadchi:** what thats good

 **dadchi:** not the dying bit-

**saltybu:** nO ITS FUCKING NOT

**kurooster** : Why are you talking so early in the morning im tRYING to sleep

**Bokutoes:** dude its 7:30 get your ass up

**kurooster:** id rather not

**saltybu:** semi can nEVER know i like him

 **saltybu:** ever

**yakuwu:** ok but dude

 **yakuwu:** think of this

**kurooster:** ****

**Bokutoes:**

**Oikill me:**

**Oikill me:**

****

**yakuwu:** semi likes you back

**saltybu:** FUCKING BULL SHIT

**yakuwu:** WHAT PART OF IT WAS BULLSHIT

**saltybu:** THE WHOLE THING

 **saltybu:** THERE IS /NO/ FUCKING WAY HE LIKES ME BACK

**dadchi:** holy fucking shit you're hopeless

**kurooster:** ^

**Bokutoes:** bro

 **Bokutoes:** i have an /amazing/ idea

**kurooster:** when have any of your ideas been amazing

**Bokutoes:** brO

 **Bokutoes:** out of everyone i thought YOU'D have my back

**kurooster:** well

**Bokutoes:**

**yahaha no:** just tell us what the idea is

**Bokutoes:** group chat. our crushes. us. together.

**yakuwu:** no

 **yahaha no:** haha no

**kurooster:** no comment

**dadchi:** cannot believe i'm saying this but

 **dadchi:** that's not a bad idea

**kurooster:** IS IT POSSIBLE TO STOP BEING YOUR SON

**dadchi:** since when were you my son?

**kurooster:** d a d

**dadchi:** look it's a good opportunity to get to know your crushes and see what tactic works best

**yakuwu:** you make this sound like we're infiltrating a building or some shit

**Oikill me:** oop

**kurooster:** oikawa has been painfully quiet,,,are you ok?

**Oikill me:** I'm great thanks for asking.

**Bokutoes:** *gasp* proper punctuation

**dadchi:** okay i created the group chat

**yakuwu:** god no

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**Daichi Sawamura** added **Sugawara Koushi, Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Semi Eita +7** to a groupchat.

 **Daichi Sawamura** changed their alias to: **dadchi**

 **dadchi** named the group: **headache** **™**

**Iwaizumi Hajime:** what the fuck is this

**dadchi** recovered 6 aliases from another groupchat.

**yakuwu:** what a strong start to the day

 **yakuwu:** time to die due to my headache™

**Iwaizumi Hajime:** who's this?

**yakuwu:** its yaku

**Iwaizumi Hajime:** who

**yakuwu:**

****

**Oikill me:** coUghs

**Iwaizumi Hajime:** ok so that's shittykawa

**kurooster:** wow im impressed that he knows its oiks even with his nickname

**Oikill me:** formal much

**kurooster:** wHAT PART OF THAT WAS FOrMAL

**Oikill me:** you're formal

**kurooster:** dude are u ok

**Oikill me:** _when am i ever ok is the question_

**kurooster:** hello 911?

 **kurooster:** yes we need some psychological assistance

**yakuwu:** bitch we're in japan

**Oikill me** changed **Iwaizumi Hajime** 's alias to: **iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ**

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** please no

**Kenma Kozume:** oh no

**Akaashi Keiji:** god

**Bokutoes:** hEYHEYHEY

**Sugawara Koushi:** HELLO SON

**Bokutoes:** MOM

**kurooster:** DAICHI DISOWNED ME

**dadchi:** I DID NOT DISOWN YOU YOU DISOWNED YOURSELF

**kurooster:** NO I FUCKING DIDN'T

 **kurooster:** FUCK YOU DAD

**dadchi:** YOU'RE GROUNDED

**kurooster:** DAD NO IM SORRY

**Bokutoes:** HAHA SUCK DICK

**kurooster:** FUCK YOU

**Bokutoes:** name the time and place ;)

**Sugawara Koushi:** _daichi, we need to talk_

**Bokutoes:** shit mom and dad gonna get a divorce

**kurooster:** im going w mom

**kurooster** changed **Sugawara Koushi** 's alias to: **Sugamama**

 **kurooster** changed **Kozume Kenma** 's alias to: **Kozoom**

**Kozoom:** god no

**Bokutoes** changed **Akaashi Keiji** 's alias to: **Akeishit**

**Akeishit:** im not even going to object at this point

**Semi Eita:** um what the fuck

**saltybu:** where the fuck are u

**Semi Eita:** in my dorm...??

**kurooster:** OMG

**Bokutoes:** ARE U GONNA DO IT

**saltybu:** NO SHUT UP I ALR TOLD U IM NOT 

**saltybu:** NEVER

**Semi Eita:** um...

**saltybu** changed **Semi Eita** 's alias to: **Semight just die**

**Semight just die:** alright then

 **Semight just die:** **@saltybu** what do you need

**saltybu:** i need you to die

**Semight just die:** bitch

**Akeishit:** this is giving me a fucking headache.

**Kozoom:** have you read the title of the gc

**Akeishit:** ah

**Sugamama:** shut up you have class soon

**Semight just die:** akasdljs

**Lev Haiba:** HELLO

**kurooster:** LEV GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND GO TO CLASS RIGHT NOW

**Lev Haiba:** OK IMSORRY

**yakuwu:** wow

 **yakuwu** changed **Haiba Lev** 's name to **Reifu**

 **Oikill me** added **Kyoutani Kentarou** and **Yahaba Shigeru**

**kurooster:**???

**Oikill me:** yahaba wanted me to add him and mad dog-chan

**Yahaba Shigeru:** HELLO!!!

**yakuwu** changed **Yahaba Shigeru** 's alias to: **yahaha no**

**Kyoutani Kentarou:**

**Kyoutani Kentarou** left the group!

**yahaha no:** nO babe come back :(((

**yahaha no** added **Kyotani Kentarou** to **headache** **™**

 **yahaha no** changed **Kyoutani Kentarou** 's alias to: **Mad Dog**

**Mad dog:** i hate everyone here

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:**

**Mad dog:** i hate everyone here except for iwaizumi-san

**yahaha no:** UM EXCUSE ME

**Oikill me:** wow ok

**Sugamama:** guys class starts soon get off your fucking phones before i snipe you

**yakuwu:** i never wanna see scary suga ever again

**Sugamama:** THEN GET OFF YOUR PHONE.

**yakuwu:** YES SIR

**kurooster:**

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

_Today at 3:18pm_

**Oikill me:** omg school is over

**yakuwu:** weekends hello i love you

**kurooster:** yknow you love someone else ;))

**yakuwu:** nO SHUT UP.

**kurooster:** ;)))

**dadchi:** ;)

 **dadchi:** shirabu, what do you have to say to that

**saltybu:** i do not have a fucking crush

**dadchi:** oh really

**dadchi:**

> **saltybu:** GUYS GUYSGUYSGUYS
> 
> **Oikill me:** what the fuck do u want
> 
> **saltybu:** I jUST ALMOST CONFESSED

**saltybu:** DELETE THAT RIGHT FUCKING NOW

**dadchi** deleted a message

**kurooster:** CMON DUDE ITS NOT HARD

**saltybu:** I DONT SEE U ASKING OUT UR CRUSH HUH

**kurooster:** NO SEE MY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT

**saltybu:** HOW IS IT DIFFERENT IN ANYWAY

**Semight just die:** woww shirabitch is actually capable of feelings things

**Kozoom:** kuro u have a crush??

**kurooster:** um

 **kurooster:** yeah

**Semight just die:** whoever your crush is is unfortunate shirabu

**saltybu:** fuck you

**Semight just die:** thank you for providing an example

**Sugamama:** hey since its the weekend tmr do you wanna meet up or smth

**Oikill me:** i have volleyball

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** no you don't have fun for once jesus christ

**Oikill me:** I do have fun!!

**Oikill me:**

**kurooster:** you do have fun huh ;))

**Oikill me:** BITCH I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT

**Bokutoes:** huh who u doing it with oiks ;)

**Oikill me:** nO ONE-

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:**

**Oikill me:** whatever 

**Sugamama:** so is that a yes or a no-

**dadchi:** they have no choice

**Bokutoes:** ha im in

**kurooster:** how are you in when we're in tokyo and they aren't??

**dadchi:** we can all take the train to somewhere that meets halfway?

**Sugamama:** i'll send you the details later!!

**kurooster:** ok im in

**Akeishit:** Yeah I guess I'm in as well

**Kozoom:** sure...

**Sugamama:** ok if u wanna hang out tmr say 'f'

**Oikill me:** f

**kurooster:** f

**Bokutoes:**

****

**Akeishit:** f

**Semight just die:** ig f

**saltybu:** fine, f

**yahaha no:** f

**Mad dog:**

**Mad dog:** f

**yakuwu:** f

**Reifu:** f

**dadchi:** f

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** f

**Kozoom:** f

 **Kozoom:** f in chat for my headache starting tomorrow

**Akeishit:** As if it hasn't started already

**Kozoom:** fair point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unsuccessfully trying to make chapters long :')
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/moonr.xse/)  
> [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/9tVV9rr)


	4. shirabu and his denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sugamama**
> 
> OKAY
> 
> 12:00PM TOMORROW
> 
> ADDRESS: I GUESS I'M A SIMP AVENUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT (7/10/2020): chapter modified to follow original fic more. read pre-fic notes in chapter six for reasoning

**headache** **™**

_Today at 10:20am_

**Sugamama:** Alright so is everyone ready?

 **Sugamama:** We're meeting up at 12 at the park

**Oikill me:** we know mom

**saltybu:** semi hurry the fuck up im waiting for u

**Semight just die:** wow youre waiting for me what an achievement

 **Semight just die:** satori broke into my room wtf

**Semight just die:**

****

**saltybu:** is tendou your roommate?

 **saltybu:** why didn't you tell me?

**Semight just die:** why do you care

**saltybu:** i don't i just feel bad for you

**Semight just die:** satori's a good dude

 **Semight just die:** is what i tell myself

**Oikill me:** shirabu stop sleeping on the crush and just confess

**kurooster:**

****

**Semight just die:** what

**saltybu:** yeah what?

**Oikill me:** you're hopeless

**saltybu:** are you talking to yourself

**Oikill me:** WOW OK RUDE  
  


**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** im at the park

 **iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** with oikawa

**Sugamama:** Where are you

 **Sugamama:** I'm next to the big tree with dadchi

 **Sugamama:** I mean daichi

**dadchi:** I hate you

**Sugamama:** No you don't

**dadchi:** True

**kurooster:** hey siri, how do you wake up a cat THAT WON'T FUCKING GET UP

 **kurooster:** KENMA

**Bokutoes:** cats amirite

**kurooster:** idiots amirite

**Bokutoes:** bby you don't mean that

**kurooster:** ofc i dont bb i love you

**Bokutoes:** ily honey

**kurooster:** ily more

**Bokutoes:** idiot

**kurooster:** bitch

**Bokutoes:** BASTARD

**kurooster:** OWL FUCKER

**Akeishit:** this relationship makes me lose braincells

**Kozoom:** ^

**kurooster:** kenmaaa you're up!!

 **kurooster:** waiting outside ur house

**Kozoom:** k

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** ive never related to akaashi and kenma as much as this before

**Oikill me:** if ~~dadchi~~ daichi is your dad and suga is your mom, that makes bokuto your brother

 **Oikill me:** meaning this relationship is incest

**kurooster:**

**Bokutoes:**

**kurooster:** don't listen to them babe

**Bokutoes:** ill try not to babe

**Oikill me:** jfc

**Sugamama:** Lmao ya'll have separate crushes but here you are

 **Sugamama:** Just ask eachother out god

**Kozoom:** kuroo youve never told me about this crush

 **Kozoom:** who is it

**kurooster:** WOW WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME IT'S 10:30 IMA GO NOW BYE

 **kurooster:** KENMA IM GOING TO WAIT AT THE TRAIN STATION

**Kozoom:**...

 **Kozoom:** bokuto ur his best friend do you know

**Bokutoes:** HAHA YEP IM GOING TOO BYE 

**Bokutoes:** NOTHING

 **Bokutoes:** HE HAS NO SUCH CRUSH

**kurooster:** SHUT THE FUCK UP BABE :)

**Bokutoes:** FUCK YOU :)

**Kuroh no**

name the time and place ;)

**Bokutoes:**

****

**Oikill me:** accurate

**Bokutoes:** ohohohoho ;)

**kurooster:** ;)

**Kozoom:** im so confused are they dating or not

**Sugamama:** They aren't dating

 **Sugamama:** I think-

 **Sugamama:** Honestly I have no idea anymore

**dadchi:** Jesus christ Bokuto, Kuroo

 **dadchi:** this is not how you cope w/ a crush

**kurooster:** unrequited love*

**Bokutoes:** *sniff*

**saltybu:** and i thought i had it bad

**Semight just die:** so you /do/ have a crush

**saltybu:** nO I DON'T SHUT UP 

**saltybu:** D I E

**Semight just die:** cute

**saltybu:** what-

**Oikill me:** OOOOO

**yakuwu:** sup biTCHES

 **yakuwu:** oh god

 **yakuwu:** BYE BITCHES

**yahaha no:** same

**Mad Dog:**

**Yahaha no:** i still love you tho :((

**Mag Dog:**

**Yahaha no:**

****

**Reifu:** No yaku-san come back :(

**yakuwu:** fuck

**Yahaha no:** lev

**yakuwu:** n o

**Reifu:** what-

**Sugamama:** iTS NOTHING LEV JUST IGNORE WHAT THEY SAID

**Reifu:** Okay--

**Mad dog:** i just want to delete myself

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang**

_Today at 10:35am_

**dadchi:** OH MY GOD

 **dadchi:** YOU'RE ALL A MESS

**dadchi: @yakuwu**

**dadchi:** Just confess to Lev already I'm losing my mind

 **dadchi: @saltybu** Stop telling semi to kill himself goddamn.

**dadchi: @kurooster**

**dadchi: @Bokutoes**

**dadchi:** Stop acting like you're dating in front of your crushes it's helping no one

**saltybu:** and its fucking weird

**kurooster:** at least im not in denial

 **kurooster:** *coughs*

**saltybu:** coronavirus

 **saltybu:** get tested

 **saltybu:** stay home

 **saltybu:** oh hey this is a good time to not to go to the park and spend my whole day with semi

**Bokutoes:** because you love him~~

**saltybu:** because i hate him

**dadchi:** You don't hate him Shirabu

 **dadchi:** Why can't you just accept that you like him

**saltybu:** because i don't

 **saltybu:** and thats final

**kurooster** : What did he even do to you :((

**saltybu:** hes annoying

 **saltybu:** and he bosses me around just because hes my senpai

 **saltybu:** telling me what he thinks about my setting

 **saltybu:** what does *he* know

**dadchi:**

**Bokutoes:**

**kurooster:** god you literally have no idea

**Oikill me:** Lmao, you do know that Semi bosses you around because he wants you to be a good setter

 **Oikill me:** And even though you overtook his position as the official setter, he's been around longer than you

 **Oikill me:** He knows what types of sets Ushijima likes, and the ones you're setting to him isn't what he prefers

 **Oikill me:** But of course, Ushijima doesn't complain because he's still able to spike it

 **Oikill me:** He just wants the best for you

 **Oikill me:** If he can't do the setting, he wants to at least give some advice and knowledge

**kurooster:** aww thats so sweet

**saltybu:** and how would you know all this

**Oikill me:** I talk to semi alot thanks to daichi

**saltybu:** what- why- how-

**dadchi:** After we won a spot at nationals, Suga approached Semi and they started talking

 **dadchi:** And then Suga introduced me to Semi

 **dadchi:** And then Ushijima joined

 **dadchi:** And we added Oikawa as well

**saltybu:** and that was a good idea because...

**dadchi:** Yeah he hated being in the same group chat as Ushiwaka at first, but now they're good friends

**kurooster:** bokuto and i are also in the gc!!!

**dadchi:** Yep

 **dadchi:** Just me, suga, semi, oikawa, kuroo, bokuto and ushijima

 **dadchi:** oh god what did we create

**yakuwu:** lmao

**dadchi:** My point is,,,I'm 99.9% sure Semi likes you back

 **dadchi:** Just confess to him, get it over and done with

**saltybu:**

**saltybu:** i'll think about it,,i guess

**dadchi:** Just try

**kurooster:** we believe in u!!!

**saltybu:** shut up drowned cat with the weird haircut

**kurooster:** you're not the one to talk

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**headache** **™**

**Oikill me** added **Ushijima Wakatoshi** and **Tendou Satori** to the group!

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** what-

**Oikill me:** they asked kdjsa

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Thank you Tooru

**Oikill me:** shut up toshi-chan :)

**Tendou Satori:** WOW NOT EVEN A GREETING FOR ME

**Oikill me:** fuck you sat-on-me

**Tendou Satori:** WOW OK

**Oikill me** changed **Tendou Satori** 's alias to: **sat-on-me**

 **Oikill me** changed **Ushijima Wakatoshi** 's alias to: **Ushiwack me**

**Ushiwack me:** Explain my nickname??

**Oikill me:** with those biceps honestly i wouldnt mind if you whacked me

**kurooster:** I agree

**Bokutoes:** ^

**Ushiwack me:** Wow, I feel honoured

**Oikill me:** you should you fucking weirdo

**Ushiwack me:** Elaborate as to why _I'm_ the weirdo and not _you_ , Tooru?

**Oikill me:** i hate you

**sat-on-me:** no you don't

**Oikill me:** wow dont expose me

**Semight just die:** ayyyy hey toshi

**Ushiwack me:** Hello Eita

 **Ushiwack me:** :D

**Semight just die:** HE USED AN EMOJI

 **Semight just die:** OIKAWA PAY UP

**Oikill me:** gODDAMn

**dadchi:** Lmao you guys bet on whether he uses emojis or not??

**Semight just die:** we bet on everything

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** i didn't know this many people tolerated oikawa

**Ushiwack me:** Actually, Tooru isn't as bad as everyone says he is

 **Ushiwack me:** Everyone would've praised him 

**Ushiwack me:** If he went to Shiratorizawa

**sat-on-me:** if he went to Shiratorizawa 

**kurooster:** if he went to shiratorizawa 

**Bokutoes:** omg wow you guys sent that all at the same time

 **Bokutoes:** im impressed

**Oikill me:** you guys know why i didnt so shut up

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** why didnt u

 **iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** i mean you couldve gotten in

**Oikill me:** noneofyourbusiness

 **Oikill me:** oh hey eita-chan is that you

**Semight just die:** YOOOO

 **Semight just die:** IM COMING BITCH

 **Semight just die:** GIVE ME MY MONEY

**Oikill me:** SHIT YOU RUN FAST

 **Oikill me:** BYE

**dadchi:** Young love

 **dadchi:** Oh wait what I don't ship them-

**Sugamama:** Bad

**dadchi:** ;)

**Bokutoes:** DAD! MOM! NOT HERE PLZ

 **Bokutoes:** I HAVE INNOCENCE

**dadchi:** Cut the crap you're dirty minded as hell

**kurooster:** ^

**Bokutoes:** wow exposing me once again

 **Bokutoes:** I trusted you

**kurooster:** life is unpredictable ;)

**saltybu:** Semi just ran off yelling im not even bothered to read up

**yakuwu:** i have arrived with yahaba

**yahaha no:** i see you all

 **yahaha no:** under the tree with the crow's nest on it?

**dadchi:** yep

**Reifu:** im here with kenma and kuroo!!

**Bokutoes:** same im here with akaashIIII

**Akeishit:** Sadly

**Bokutoes:** Akaasheiii :((

**Mad dog:** fuck you all im not going

**yahaha no:** :(

 **yahaha no:** please

**Mad dog:**...

 **Mad dog:** fine ill go im leaving rn

**Sugamama:** Young love

**kurooster:**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> behold the third time i'm writing end notes :')  
> -  
> I'm so so sorry for not updating!! Exams are a pain and I actually still have four (??) more to go, including one tomorrow which i'm n o t ready for.  
> I tried to make this as long as possible but idk how well i succeeded  
> also i'm sorry for the shitty writing but i'm trying to improve i guess?? also i didn't proofread this bc its 11pm and i'm tired
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/moonr.xse/)  
> [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/9tVV9rr)


	5. welcome to being dense as hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Ushiwaka's Di-:** I can't believe I'm about to say this
> 
>  **Ushiwaka's Di-:** But you suck
> 
> **Kuroo's Abs:** shirabu's dic-
> 
> **Daichi's Thighs:** NO ONE ASKED YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT (7/10/2020): chapter modified to follow original fic more. read pre-fic notes in chapter six for reasoning

**headache** **™**

_Today at 12:30_

**dadchi:** It's barely been 30 minutes and we can't find Shirabu

**Sugamama:** Goddammit Shirabu **@saltybu**

 **Sugamama:** Where are you

**Ushiwack me:** If you want, I can go and search for him with Oikawa?

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** why oikawa

**Ushiwack me:** I thought you disliked Oikawa

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** of course i like oikawa!! why do you think i stuck with him for so long

**Oikill me:** you like me...?

**kurooster:**

****

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** yeah ur my best friend??

**Oikill me:** （iДi）

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:**???

**kurooster:**

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** i thought _you_ disliked Oikawa

**Ushiwack me:** I do not despise Tooru, I do wish he would have attended Shiratorizawa instead of Seijoh, but however he does have his reasons

**Oikill me:** thank you toshi-chan~ (´・ω・｀)

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** no comment

**Semight just die:** ill just spam his dms

**sat-on-me:** semisemi you wouldn't dare

**Semight just die:** i do dare lmao

**sat-on-me:** toshi lets plan his funeral!

**Ushiwack me:** I don't think he will pass away from texting Shirabu, Satori

**sat-on-me:** so ill just plan his funeral alone then

**yahaha no:** uh

 **yahaha no:** where did you guys go-

**yakuwu:** youre a fucking idiot

 **yakuwu:** we stopped coz we cant find shirabu

**yahaha no:** uhh

**Mad dog:** we're lost

 **Mad dog:** i shouldnt have followed yahabitch

**yahaha no:** eXCUSE ME???

**dadchi:** How did you not realise we weren't there anymore?

**kurooster:** they were too invested in their own worldddd 

**Bokutoes:** bro

**kurooster:** bro

**Bokutoes:** A WHOLE NEW WORLD

**kurooster:** A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEW

**Bokutoes:** nO ONE TO TELL US NO

**dadchi:** No

 **dadchi:** And you're grounded

**Sugamama:** HAHA GET R E K T 

**Bokutoes:** dad,,,

 **Bokutoes:** i hate you

**dadchi:** same here son

**Bokutoes:** d a d

**Bokutoes:**

**kurooster:** its ok you can be disowned with me

**dadchi:** It's alright, I have 02880230 other children, losing 2 won't be bad

**Sugamama:** Oh god

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**Shirabitch Kenjirou**

**(12:45) You:** yo

 **(12:45) You:** dude

 **(12:45) You:** hello

 **(12:45) You:** yes

 **(12:45) You:** dude

 **(12:45) You:** hello

 **(12:45) You:** bro

 **(12:45) You:** shirabitch

 **(12:46) You:** shirabu

 **(12:46) You:** kenjirou

 **(12:46) You:** kenji

**(12:46) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** what the fuck do you want

 **(12:46) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** and don't call me kenji

**(12:46) You:** where did you go, _kenji_

**(12:46) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** fuck you

 **(12:46) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** i went to clear my head a bit

**(12:46) You:** are you kidding me

**(12:47) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** im fine,, just tell me where you are

**(12:47) You:** no,,tell me where _you_ are

 **(12:47) You:** i have a feeling you're not ok

**(12:47) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** what the fuck do you mean

**(12:47) You:** are you hurt or smth

**(12:47) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** no

**(12:47) You:**

**(12:47) You:** you're hurt aren't you

**(12:48) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** ok but its not bad

 **(12:48) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** i just kind of

 **(12:48) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** fell down a ditch??

**(12:48) You:** wtf how did you manage to do that

 **(12:48) You:** WE'RE IN A PARK

**(12:48) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** FUCK YOU

**(12:48) You:** WHY IS THAT YOUR RESPONSE TO EVERYTHING

**(12:48) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** JUST BECAUSE

**(12:48) You:** THATS NOT A VALID ANSWER

**(12:48) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** BECAUSE

 **(12:49) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** ITS MY WAY OF

 **(12:49) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** fuck

**(12:49) You:** what??

 **(12:49) You:** what were you gonna say

**(12:49) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** ok um

 **(12:49) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** look

 **(12:49) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** i have this crush

**(12:49) You:** oH SO YOU D O HAVE A CRUSH

 **(12:49) You:** what an unfortunate soul 

**(12:49) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** ok but i dont know how to ask him out and confess n shit

**(12:49) You:** woah its a boy

 **(12:49) You:** just ask him out

**(12:49) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** its not that easy

 **(12:50) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** i don't think he likes me back

**(12:50) You:** ofc he likes you back

 **(12:50) You:** ur a brat but ur loveable

**(12:50) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** what happened to my crush being an unfortunate soul

**(12:50) You:** ~~un~~ fortunate soul

 **(12:50) You:** happy now

**(12:50) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** hey

 **(12:50) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** do you have a crush

**(12:50) You:** uh

 **(12:50) You:** yeah

 **(12:50) You:** i guess

**(12:51) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** unfortunate soul

**(12:51) You:** rude

**(12:51) Shirabitch Kenjirou:**

**(12:51) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** uh

 **(12:51) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** well

 **(12:51) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** if you go back to where we met up and take a right instead of left, i should be there

 **(12:51) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** just sitting in a ditch with a sprained ankle

**(12:51) You:** YOU SPRAINED YOUR ANKLE??

 **(12:51) You:** JESUS CHRIST

**(12:51) Shirabitch Kenjirou:** ugh

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang**

**saltybu:** semi has a crush

**dadchi:** WHAT THE FUCK WHERE ARE YOU

**yakuwu:** DUDE HAVE YOU NOT SEEN OUR MESSAGES FROM HEADACHE™

**saltybu:** i muted it lol

**kurooster:** smart

 **kurooster:** blocking people out of your life

**saltybu:** well uh dont worry semi went to get me

**dadchi:** Oh

 **dadchi:** Explains why he isn't with us anymore

 **dadchi:** Anyway

 **dadchi:** Semi went to get you huh ;)

 **dadchi:** And Semi has a crush

 **dadchi:** Are the stars lining up?

**yakuwu:** what stars

**dadchi:** Wow okay

 **dadchi:** I thought you'd support them

**saltybu:** pretty sure semi is straight

 **saltybu:** never seen him look at a guy like he loves them

**dadchi:** _You have no idea_

**saltybu:** what

 **saltybu:** semi is here bye

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**what have we created**

**Daichi's Thighs:** I'm losing my mind

**Oikawa's Nothing:** wha are you ok

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** Tooru being aware of the feelings of his peers?

 **Ushiwaka's Di-:** A rare sight

**Oikawa's Nothing:** wow rUDE

 **Oikawa's Nothing:** toshi-chan :(((

**Daichi's Thighs:** Semi likes Shirabu right

**Kuroo's Abs:** mhm

**Bokuto's Biceps:** yep

**Daichi's Thighs:** and we know

**Kuroo's Abs:** YEP

**Bokuto's Biceps:** mhm

 **Bokuto's Biceps:** but lets let them do their thing yknow

**Daichi's Thighs:** Yeah but the fact that i cAN'T TELL THEM hurts me

**Suga's Personality:** They're dense as fuck

**Semi's Face:** yo im coming back with kenji rn

 **Semi's Face:** he sprained his ankle

**Suga's Personality:** Don't read up :)

 **Suga's Personality:** Also Kenji huh ;)

 **Suga's Personality:** Kenjirou = Kenji

**Daichi's Thighs:** Aww that's cute

 **Daichi's Thighs:** First name basis already huh

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** I approve

**Semi's Face:** he hates me

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** I can't believe I'm about to say this

 **Ushiwaka's Di-:** But you suck

**Kuroo's Abs:** shirabu's dic-

**Daichi's Thighs:** NO ONE ASKED YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello~! I'm back from the dead  
> soo most of my exams are almost done. my history speech was a few days ago and t h a t was an experience  
> upcoming i have maths, pdhpe and music but they're more spaced out than my other tests which were crammed in 2 weeks so i can probably update more depending on motivation??
> 
> also behold old jokes from the original fic  
> btw,,question for people who are from the original fic, do you still want me to add the jokes (eg. kinky joke)? bc idk i feel like it'll get old and unfunny but new readers won't know what it is and i oop-  
> yeah so feel free to answer that ig
> 
> up next: semi drunk texts shirabu (and shit goes down)
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/moonr.xse/)  
> [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/9tVV9rr)


	6. how semishira got their shit together,,,accidentally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Oikawa's Nothing:** if he confessed to shirabu while drunk
> 
>  **Oikawa's Nothing:** i would
> 
>  **Oikawa's Nothing:** cry 
> 
> **Oikawa's Nothing:** happily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sudden motivation to update*
> 
> PLEASE READ!!!!!  
> hello, i'm back? after disappearing for two months i finally have motivation to update the fic-- but with a few minor (or major, depending how you look at it) changes to how i'm going to (re)write this fic!  
> 1- i've decided to stick more to the layout and storyline of the original fic, not that it changed that much but i want to follow it more closely than i did before. this means i'll be changing things less, obviously i'm going to rewrite it differently-- not everything will be word-by-word but it will definitely be more copied than rewritten-? why? because i think the original fic was better,,tbh this one is a bit cringey i'm going to admit that. i just want to get past chapter 13 so i can add new material to this fic lmao  
> 2- yes, i'm still sad about the accidental orphanage of my fic (im still internally crying about it shut up) still occasionally checking up on that fic and its actually doing pretty good which is why i want to stick to it more  
> 3- A few things will be reverted to how it was in the original fic with no warning,,it just happened. Nothing led up to it in the storyline. (also// changing the chapter names and summary to how they were in the old fic, but i'm not changing the fic name since this one makes more sense and also changing some usernames coz now i've thought of some better ones so ima use that instead..?)  
> 4- I'M REWRITING THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS TO MATCH THE ORIGINAL ONE MORE!! yes that means going back and editing everything :') also might change the layout again coz i got bored of the current one  
> 5- LAST ONE: I'M MAKING KYOUHABA A PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP!! idk the idea of yahaba being aged up and a third year still doesn't really sit with me so i'm changing it! ofc this means kyouhaba won't be a ship that's trying to be set up but like kagehina, tsukkiyama and asanoya had, they will be having a chapter filler dedicated to how they got together (and were more responsible than the third years)
> 
> :i'm sorry if you liked this fic more than the original but it really effected my motivation to update bc of how unhappy i was with these rewritten chapters coming out, so honestly i think its better to follow the original more  
> i suggest rereading the previous chapters to see the changes,, but only if you want to no pressure!
> 
> djskaaskd that was long (but if you haven't read it please do because its important)  
> now enter semi eita being drunk asf ;)

** headache™ **

_Today at 2:56pm_

**Sugamama:** did everyone get home safe

**Bokutoes:** yes mom

**Oikill me:** yes mother

**Ushiwack me:** Yes person who didn't actually give birth to me but somehow is a better parental figure than my actual parents

**dadchi:** I-

 **dadchi:** Yikes

**saltybu:** all this parental stuff gives me headaches

**Semight just die:** you give me a bigger headache

**saltybu:** _die_

**Semight just die:** _no :)_

**dadchi:** Shirabu,,no.

**Oikill me:** i've said this like 69 times alr

 **Oikill me:** but

 **Oikill me:** you're

 **Oikill me:** hopeless

**saltybu:** yeah i'm hopeless

 **saltybu:** Half dead inside

 **saltybu:** O

 **saltybu:** P

 **saltybu:** E

 **saltybu:** L

 **saltybu:** E

 **saltybu:** S

 **saltybu:** S

**Semight just die:**

****

**Semight just die:** we alr know that

 **Semight just die:** you act like you get crushed every day

**saltybu:** actually,,

**Sugamama:** I'm

 **Sugamama:** Going to rip my hair off

**dadchi:** Don't do that please

**Bokutoes:** who would want to buy a j-drama when theres one right here

 **Bokutoes:** full of ups and downs

 **Bokutoes:** b e t r a y a l

 **Bokutoes:** im looking at u kuroo

**kurooster:** are u stalking me

**Bokutoes:** what no-

**Reifu:** kuroo has a stalker??

**yakuwu:** lev, no

**kurooster:** yeah i do, bokuhoe is 

****kurooster:**** STALKING ME

**Reifu:** WHAT

**Sugamama:** NO HE ISN'T DON'T LISTEN TO KUROO

**Reifu:** im

 **Reifu:** so confused

**yakuwu:** lev

 **yakuwu:** he's

 **yakuwu:** not

 **yakuwu:** being

 **yakuwu:** stalked

**yakuwu: .**

**Reifu:** but he said he was

**kurooster:** you should know by now that everything i say is a lie

**Reifu:** so you saying i don't know what to do with my arms is a lie?

**kurooster:** there are some exceptions

**Kozoom:** just dont listen to kuro

 **Kozoom:** ive been doing that ever since we met

**kurooster:** but playing games at 2am when you _should_ be sleeping is a problem >:(

**Kozoom:** whatever

**Semight just die:** he's right

 **Semight just die:** playing games at 2am isnt good

**saltybu:** you stayed up till 2am on your laptop

 **saltybu:** and i couldn't fUCKING sleep

**Semight just die:** it was a movie tendou told me to watch

 **Semight just die:** we were watching it tOGeTher

**sat-on-me:** semisemi ended in tears

**Semight just die:** IT WAS FUCKING EMOTIONAL OKAY

**saltybu:** lmao you were crying??

**Semight just die:** shut up

**yahaha no:** wait...

 **yahaha no:** you guys have shared a room before?

**saltybu:** well,,,

**Semight just die:** whats the big deal?

 **Semight just die:** we share rooms all the time

**yahaha no:** yeah but

 **yahaha no:** what impact does that have on shirabu huh ;)

**saltybu:** NO

 **saltybu:** SHUT UP

**Semight just die:**

****

**Mad dog:** dont tell him to shut up

 **Mad dog:** god this chat is so bad

**saltybu:** then leave

**sat-on-me:** no don't leave me :((

**yakuwu:** its dont leave _us_

 **yakuwu:** stop being in gay panic

**sat-on-me:** im not in gay panic!!!

**yakuwu:** thats three exclamation marks

**Bokutoes:** i declare you ~~guilty~~ gay

**Akeishit:** hm?

 **Akeishit:** whats going on

**Kozoom:** welcome to tendou's gay panic

 **Kozoom:** and semishira cant sort out their shit

**Akeishit:** huh?

**Kozoom:** oh kuroo told me about

 **Kozoom:** shirabu's

 **Kozoom:** gay

 **Kozoom:** crush

**saltybu:** NO

**Semight just die:** how hard is it to confess

**saltybu:** I DONT SEE YOU CONFESSING TO YOUR CRUSH

**Semight just die:** because i alr know its 100% unrequited

 **Semight just die:** its been like that since last year and im fine with it

 **Semight just die:** i guess

**saltybu:** crush since last year?

 **saltybu:** god

 **saltybu:** are you afraid of rejection

**Semight just die:** i alr know hes fine with someone else

 **Semight just die:** so

**Semight just die:**

****

**saltybu:** its a he??

**Semight just die:** yeah im bi

 **Semight just die:** i thought i told you that

**saltybu:** no??

**Ushiwack me:** You did tell us

**sat-on-me:** he couldn't hear you coz he was too busy being salty

**dadchi:** Wow you and Tsukishima can be best friends

**Sugamama:** Daichi! Don't say that about our child

**dadchi:** Can Tsukishima be considered a child

 **dadchi:** He hates everyone and everything

**Sugamama:** True

 **Sugamama:** He's that angsty teenager

**dadchi:** We're all angsty teenagers

**Sugamama:** Yep

**saltybu:** ok geez sorry i didnt know you were bi

 **saltybu:** god

**Mad dog:**

****

**saltybu:** D I E

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**what have we created**

_Today at 3:12_

**Semi's Face:** honestly

 **Semi's Face:** just let me perish

 **Semi's Face:** i just wanna delete myself

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** Don't say that

**Oikawa's Nothing:** yeah i saw what happened in the chat

 **Oikawa's Nothing:** dude i think

 **Oikawa's Nothing:** cmon he probably likes you back

**Semi's Face:** srsly

 **Semi's Face:** the only things he says to me are 'die' and 'fuck you'

**Daichi's Thighs:** Lmao accurate

**Suga's Personality:** What I think you should do is

 **Suga's Personality:** Just confess

 **Suga's Personality:** What if he actually likes you back and is too scared to confess back?

 **Suga's Personality:** And then you graduate and he moves on

 **Suga's Personality:** And he find someone else to be with

**Semi's Face:** um

 **Semi's Face:** im actually counting on that

 **Semi's Face:** minus the requited love part

**Daichi's Thighs:** Just think about it

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** Satori and I are going out to drink

 **Ushiwaka's Di-:** Maybe you would like to come?

**Oikawa's Nothing:** wow toshi-chan i never thought of you as the drinking type

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** I'm not, Satori just wanted me to come with him

**Oikawa's Nothing:**

****

**Semi's Face:** yeah ig it would be a good way to get my mind off things

**Kuroo's Abs:** don't get drunk

**Bokuto's Biceps:** no,,

 **Bokuto's Biceps:** get drunk

 **Bokuto's Biceps:** and confess to shirabu while drunk

 **Bokuto's Biceps:** and this j-drama can finally end

**Semi's Face:** yeah not happening

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** Meet us outside the main entrance

**Semi's Face:** coming

**Oikawa's Nothing:** if he confessed to shirabu while drunk

 **Oikawa's Nothing:** i would

 **Oikawa's Nothing:** cry 

**Oikawa's Nothing:** happily

**Daichi's Thighs:** ^

**Suga's Personality:** ^^

**Kuroo's Abs:** please

 **Kuroo's Abs:** yes

 **Kuroo's Abs:** i would die happy

 **Kuroo's Abs:** alone

 **Kuroo's Abs:** because kenma values games over me

**Kuroo's Abs:**

**Bokuto's Biceps:** its ok bb im here

**Kuroo's Abs:**

****

**Daichi's Thighs:** JUST STOP

 **Daichi's Thighs:** NO

**Oikawa's Nothing:**

****

**Kuroo's Abs:** bb

 **Kuroo's Abs:** its

 **Kuroo's Abs:** cold outside

**Bokuto's Biceps:** its ok bb ill get my coat

**Suga's Personality:** Who's bottom

**Daichi's Thighs:** SUGA DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

** Shirabitch Kenjirou **

_Today at 6:57pm_

**(6:57) You:** heyyyyuyuy 

**(6:57) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **wtf

****(6:57) You:**** havr ii ever tlod yu how deprssed i am>

**(6:57) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **um are you ok??

 **(6:58) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **semi-san are you drunk?

****(6:58) You:**** noooop

 ** **(6:58) You:**** wy woudl i be durnk?

**(6:58) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:** **um

 **(6:58) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **misspelled words?

 **(6:58) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **talking about your feelings??

****(6:58) You:**** omf speaknh of feelingsa

 ** **(6:58) You:**** i hav liek the biggst fukcing cruhs

 ** **(6:58) You:**** on thus dude

**(6:58) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **oh...

 **(6:58) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **who?

****(6:59) You:**** his naem is shirabu

 ** **(6:59) You:**** liekfuck

**(6:59) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **what??

****(6:59) You:**** his hairctu is redicuousl tho

 ** **(6:59) You:**** but like

 ** **(6:59) You:**** whne he smils its so cute

 ** **(6:59) You:**** and hat one tiem we sgared a room

 ** **(6:59) You:**** it smelld like him]

 ** **(7:00) You:**** and idk

 ** **(7:00) You:**** probaly what hevan is liek

 ** **(7:00) You:**** but ik he would nevr like me back

 ** **(7:00) You:**** so

 ** **(7:00) You:**** i hope he finds someon that loves him like i do

**(7:00) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **semi-san...

 **(7:00) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **where are you

****(7:00) You:**** imsomwhre

 ** **(7:00) You:**** in a bat oresome shir

**(7:00) **Shirabitch Kenjirou** : **in a bat??

****(7:00) You:**** a barrrr

 ** **(7:01) You:**** stupid

 ** **(7:01) You:**** ha

 ** **(7:01) You:**** remids me that kenji always tels me to die

 ** **(7:01) You:**** like

 ** **(7:01) You:**** i would die[' for u

 ** **(7:01) You:**** but

 ** **(7:01) You:**** i wwould never telll him tahr

**(7:01) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** semi-san

 **(7:01) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** is there anyone with you right now?

****(7:01) You:**** yeahthis dudde with red spiky hair

 ** **(7:01) You:**** and his buff dude

 ** **(7:01) You:**** woahhh his muscles are huge

**(7:01) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** oh god

 **(7:01) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** alright

 **(7:01) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** hey

 **(7:01) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** do you really like shirabu?

****(7:02) You:**** oofc

 ** **(7:02) You:**** i want him to be mi ne

 ** **(7:02) You:**** but

 ** **(7:02) You:**** never gong to hapen

 ** **(7:02) You:**** but it is what it iss

 ** **(7:02) You:**** svhirabu will be happy with somne else

**(7:02) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** semi-san

 **(7:02) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** you can call me kenji

 **(7:02) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** i don't mind

****(7:02) You:**** okai

 ** **(7:02) You:**** wait what

**(7:02) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** i love you too semi san ;)

****(7:02) You:**** juat call me eita

 ** **(7:03) You:**** BHAHAHAH

 ** **(7:03) You:**** OMG

**(7:03) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** what

****(7:03) You:**** hEYY SHIRABU ITS ME TENDOU

 ** **(7:03) You:**** I STOLE SEMISEMI'S PHONE

 ** **(7:03) You:**** I DON'T EVEN WANNA READ UP 

****(7:03) You:**** dw about him im bringing him back to the dorms

 ** **(7:03) You:**** want me to drop him off at your place ;)

**(7:03) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** fuck

 **(7:03) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** you

 **(7:03) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** and sure

****(7:03) You:**** wow shirabu

 ** **(7:03) You:**** you rlly need to expand your vocab 

****(7:03) You:**** 'fuck you' and 'die' aren't very positive words

**(7:03) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** fuck

 **(7:04) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** you

 **(7:04) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** :)

****(7:04) You:**** you're welcome shirabu~~

 ** **(7:04) You:**** cant wait for yall to be official

**(7:04) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** god

**(7:04) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:****

**(7:04) **Shirabitch Kenjirou:**** die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: i just finished editing chapter 1 and 2 and i feel so dead inside  
> edit 2: hjsdakjl im serious if you see this please read the previous chapters smhhjkaj  
> edit 3 (8/10/2020): I JUST FINISHED EDITING EVERYTHING IT TOOK ME TWO DAYS WTF????
> 
> anywayy hopefully this way we get past chapter 13 and i can add new content kjsdskjajk  
> i hope you like the fact that i added memes ;)


	7. why oikawa went to seijoh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Levoma:** homework.jpeg
> 
> **Levoma:** you're so kinky :)
> 
> **Yama-gucci:** iM WHAT-

**headache™**

_Today at 8:20am_

**sat-on-me:** sooo~

**sat-on-me: @saltybu @Semight just die**

**sat-on-me:** how was last night ;)

**saltybu:** oh my god fuck you

**Ushiwack me:** Yes, do spill the details

 **Ushiwack me** Semi was quite drunk last night

**Oikill me:** SPILL THE TEA SIS

**Semight just die:** shut up toshi

 **Semight just die:** and uh,,,

 **Semight just die:** yeah we're official

**kurooster:** OMG

 **kurooster:** DID YOU GET DRUNK AND CONFESS

**Bokutoes:** PLZ SAY THAT HAPPENED

**Semight just die:** uhhhh

 **Semight just die:** m a y b e 

**Oikill me:** HOLY SHIT

 **Oikill me:** I CAN DIE A PEACEFUL DEATH

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** please do so asap

**Okill me:** wow rude

 **Okill me:** ig ill die alone lmao

**Ushiwack me:** Do not die Oikawa for I will have no one to tell to go to Shiratorizawa

 **Ushiwack me:** No tea to spill to

**Oikill me:** wow your vocab is growing

 **Oikill me:** SO

 **Oikill me:** SEMISHIRA

 **Oikill me:** WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT SPILL THE DETAILS

**Kozoom:** came on just to drink the steaming hot tea

**Akeishit:** Same

**Semight just die:** you wanna spill or me

**saltybu:** me,,because you won't tell it right

**Semight just die:** wow way to treat your boyfriend huh

**sat-on-me:** semisemi has been away from our dorm this whole night~

 **sat-on-me:** so semi probably stayed at shiraboo's place~~

 **sat-on-me:** how did it go

**saltybu:** ummm

 **saltybu:** tendou threw eita at my door for one

**Semight just die:** WHAT

 **Semight just die:** is that why my arm hurts so much??

**sat-on-me:** YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ROMANTIC AND CATCH HIM

**saltybu:** THE DOOR WASN'T EVEN OPEN YET

**Semight just die:** SATORI I WILL END YOU

**sat-on-me:** cant wait~~

**Sugamama:** Shut up and continue

**saltybu:** right so i picked up eita from the ground

 **saltybu:** i think he passed out tho 

**saltybu:** also he's heavy asf

**Sugamama:** Muscle mass?

**Dadchi:** Probably

**saltybu:** i forced water down his throat

 **saltybu:** uh i just put him in bed

 **saltybu:** the end

**Sugamama:** So,,,

 **Sugamama:** You slept together

**saltybu:** we didn't do it-

 **saltybu:** yeah we just slept together

**Oikill me:** eita-chan you can stop being depressed now!!

**Oikill me:**

****

**Semight just die:** yeah i could say the same to you

**Oikill me:**

****

**Oikill me:** youhave your crush as your boyfriend

**Semight just die:** at this point i think Ushijima is a better match for you

**Oikill me:** ew no

**Ushiwack me:** Please no

 **Ushiwack me:** And you already know I like someone else

**Ushiwack me:** _Who goes to Shiratorizawa_

**Oikill me:** shut up yOu already know why i went to seijohh :(((

**Semight just die:** ;))))

**dadchi:** Actually,,I'm really curious as to why Oikawa went to Seijoh

**yakuwu:** same

 **yakuwu:** you keep hinting theres a reason but you never tell us

**Yahaha no:** ^

**Kozoom:** *sips tea*

**Akeishit:**...

**Sugamama:** Uhhh

 **Sugamama:** Oikawa you don't have to tell them

 **Sugamama:** But can I tell Daichi?

**Oikill me:** wait lemme

**Oikill me** kicked **iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ** from **headache™**

**saltybu:** wha-

**Mad dog:** can you kick me too

**Yahaha no:** no

 **Yahaha no:** dont kick him

 **Yahaha no:** babe :(((

**Mad dog:** why do you like to torture me...

**yakuwu:** kinky

**Reifu:** what does kinky mean

**Sugamama:** AHAHAHA

 **Sugamama:** LEV NO JDSLAKLJSDAS

**kurooster:** kinky means

**Sugamama:** KUROO.

 **Sugamama:** If you tell him what it means I will break your kneecaps :)

**kurooster:** yessir

**Reifu:** so what does it mean...?

**Bokutoes:** it means nice

**Reifu:** ah ok

**yakuwu:** i have a feeling this is going to go badly

**Oikill me:** sorry i went to get milk bread

 **Oikill me:** anyway the reason i went to seijoh was because iwa-chan was going to seijoh

 **Oikill me:** and i wanted to be with iwa-chan

 **Oikill me:** because

 **Oikill me:** uh

**Sugamama:** He has a crush on Iwaizumi

**dadchi:** Wow who knew

**Reifu:** i didnt!

 **Reifu:** thats cute :D

**dadchi:** I MEAN WHAT???

 **dadchi:** YOU DO???

**Yahaha no:** bruhhh

 **Yahaha no:** when you serve iwaizumi looks at you 

**Yahaha no:** like

 **Yahaha no:** rlly

 **Yahaha no:** its gross

**Mad Dog:** ^^^

**Oikill me:** he doesn't like my serves...??

**Yahaha no:** no its like

 **Yahaha no:** he likes it

**Oikill me:**

**Oikill me:** oHHH

 **Oikill me:** Its like when Suga stares at Daichi's thighs

**dadchi:** What-

**Sugamama:** WHAT I DON'T DO THAT HAHA

**dadchi:** When we get home 

**dadchi:** I'm checking your computer

**Sugamama:** WAIT I-

**Oikill me:** he has a folder named Daichi's thighs ;)

**Sugamama:** UM NO I DON'T

**dadchi:** I'm not mad about it ;)

**Sugamama:** God

**Oikill me:** anyway

 **Oikill me:** theres no way iwa-chan looks at me like that alright?

**Oikill me** added **Iwaizumi Hajime** to **headache™.  
**_This user will be unable to see previous messages._

**Oikill me** changed **Iwaizumi Hajime** 's alias to: **iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:**

**Yahaha no:** whatever you say

**Mad Dog:** i hate this so much

**Oikill me:** you and yahaba aren't that different-

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** ok wow

 **iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** explain

**Oikill me:** no reason

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** ??

**Semight just die:** someone get Oikawa drunk

**Oikill me:** you can fuck off eita-chan

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

** the superior first years (obviously) **

**Levoma:** heyy

 **Levoma:** can someone help me with my homework

**Tsuki-shit-ma:** Don't ask the shrimp or the king, 100% fail guarantee

**Yama-gucci:** tsukki :((

**Shrimp:** hey don't say that! I have some brain

**Milk:** no you don't, and neither do i

**Shirmp:** bakayama >:(((

**Milk:** love you too ;)

**Yama-gucci:** I can help you :D

 **Yama-gucci:** send a pic?

**Levoma:** rlly?

 **Levoma:** thanks :D

**Levoma:** homework.jpeg

**Levoma:** you're so kinky :)

**Yama-gucci:** iM WHAT-

**Tsuki-shit-ma:** I-

 **Tsuki-shit-ma:** HEY EXCUSE ME???

**Levoma:** what

**Milk:** i CANT BREATHE

**Milk:**

****

**Shrimp:** HA???

 **Shrimp:** WAIT BAKAYAMA IM COMING TO SAVE YOU

**Levoma:**...??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the kinky joke is back ;)
> 
> [Instagram (I do art!)](https://www.instagram.com/moonr.xse/)  
> [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/9tVV9rr)


	8. truth or dare w/ friends!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kurooster:** well we can always just ask him in a game of truth or dare

**every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang**

_**.** _

_Today 12:26am_

**Dadchi:** So,

 **Dadchi:** I was thinking we should help Oikawa next

**Oikill me:**

****

**Dadchi** added **Semi Eita**

 **Dadchi** changed **Semi Eita** 's alias to: **Semight just die**

**Sugamama:** Ooh good idea

 **Sugamama:** Every time a couple get's together we add the other?

**Semight just die:** oh hello

 **Semight just die:** what's this about helping oikawa??

 **Semight just die:** honey,,,impossible

 **Semight just die:** he's dense as ever

 **Semight just die:** worse than kenji

**saltybu:** hey you were dense too

**Semight just die:** not as dense as you

**saltybu:** wanna bet

**yakuwu:** some things never change

**Oikill me:** heyyy :((

**Oikill me** added **Yahaba Shigeru** and **Kyoutani Kentarou**

 **Kyoutani Kentarou** left the group!

 **Yahaba Shigeru:** i see how it is

 **Yahaba Shigeru** changed their alias to: **yahaha no**

**yahaha no:** so i backread and-

 **yahaha no:** plz help oiks i swear he's not capable of anything

**Oikill me:** i added you in here to help me??

 **Oikill me:** you and mad dog were like that !!

**yahaha no:** ok but i had the guts to slam him against a wall

 **yahaha no:** i dont see you doing that

**Oikill me:** because iwa-chan wouldve killed me!

**yahaha no:** kyoutani was capable of killing me

 **yahaha no:** bUt he didnt

**Oikill me:** i dont even know why you guys are dating

**yahaha no:**

**(A/N: this could literally be my wallpaper)**

**kurooster:** HEY YKNOW WHAT I JUST THOUGHT OF

 **kurooster:** see oiks u dont know if iwa likes u back right

**Oikill me:** hes straight

**Bokutoes:** ah,

 **Bokutoes:** a typical accusation

**Semight just die:** stop assuming sexuality

**Oikill me:** ha 

**Oikill me:** remember that one time semi was having a gay panic

 **Oikill me:** kept saying shirabu was straight

**Semight just die:** that was my tragic past

**Oikill me:** THAT WAS 2 DAYS AGO

**kurooster:** well we can always just ask him in a game of truth or dare

**Bokutoes:** can we vc? i want to see iwaizumi's reaction

**yakuwu:** evil

**Semight just die:** **@saltybu** come to my dorm

**saltybu:** are you kidding me

 **saltybu:** fine

**Semight just die:** its only one level up

**saltybu:** but i have to get c h a n g e d

**Semight just die:** who said you need to get changed ;)

**saltybu:** d i e

**Dadchi:** Good idea

 **Dadchi:** Also a good opportunity to obtain blackmail on peers

**Sugamama:** Oh god

**yakuwu:** aight im in

**yahaha no:** ig im in too

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**headache** **™**

_**.** _

_Today at 12:53am_

**Bokutoes:** HEYHEYHEY

 **Bokutoes:** LET'S PLAY TOD

**kurooster:** hell yeah

 **kurooster:** vc as well

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** no comment

**Oikill me:** pleaaaseee iwa-channnn

**iwa-chan ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ:** ok so its a definite no

**Akeishit:** I have a bad feeling about this...

**Bokutoes:** please akaaashi :(((

**Akeishit:** Ah, okay, fine.

**Kozoom:** im playing acnh

**Akeishit:** Please Kozume-san, I don't want to be stuck with a bunch of psychos

 **Akeishit:** Not including Iwaizumi

**Kozoom:**

**Kozoom:** fine ig

**Dadchi:** By the way, Karasuno is over at my house right now

 **Dadchi:** So it might be a bit loud

**Sugamama:** Go upstairs

**Dadchi:** Why are we texting you're right next to me

**Sugamama :** I can't hear you over Tanaka's loud rap music

**Dadchi:** I'll just tell Ennoshita to look over them

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**Karasue us™**

_**.** _

_Yesterday at 1:00am_

**Yams:** AND THEN HE

 **Yams:** HE CALLED ME KINKY

**the king:** I COULDN'T B R E A T HE

 **the king:** AND THEN HINATA BOKE CAME OVER TO SMACK ME

**boke:** YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T BREATHE

**the king:** YOU DON'T SMACK PEOPLE TO HELP THEM BREATHE BOKE

**mom™:** Ah, so Lev listened to what Bokuto said-

 **mom™:** Also, go to bed

 **mom™:** It's late

**boke:** finee

 **boke:** gn 

**the king:** gn

**Tsukki:** still salty about lev calling u kinky but it was funny

**mom™:**

**Tsukki:** yes sir

**.**

_Today at1:05pm_

**dad™:** **@help me** Ennoshita, Suga and I are going upstairs. Can you look after everyone else?

**help me:** fine just dont be too loud

**dad™:** What-

**mom™:** He thinks we're going to do it

**dad™:** No-

**help me:** yeahyeah whatever just go

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**headache** **™**

**Dadchi:** Okay he said yes, who's starting the video chat?

**kurooster:** hell yeah

**kurooster** started a video chat. _ **  
**_

click here to join.

**_..._ **

"Can everyone hear us okay? Sorry for the noise," Daichi said as the boxes started filling up the screen. "Koushi, get over here."

Eventually, the black boxes faded into people who gave the affirmative, some even commenting on the muffled background music ("Dude, Tanaka has great taste in music." "Are you serious? Bro." "Bro."). Oikawa was the last to join. He avoided eye contact and mostly pretended that the crumb of milk bread left on his plate was the most intriguing thing he'd ever laid his eyes on.

"Alright, so who's starting?" Daichi started when everyone had settled. Akaashi shrugged.

"Bokuto-san, because he offered first."

"I didn't! Kuroo brought up the idea!" 

Kuroo gasped dramatically, hand clutched over his heart in betrayal. "Bro."

"Bro." Bokuto smirked, leaning back in his chair.

Kuroo stroked his chin as he chose a name. "Iwaizumi." A hum was heard from the latter's box, a sign that he was listening. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," He answered with no hesitation, a sly grin formed onto his features. "Give me all you've got."

Kenma perked up, his face now visible. Despite playing Animal Crossing, he was clearly still interested in the conversation.

"I dare you to call your crush." Iwaizumi's face paled at this. Kuroo couldn't help but laugh and (almost) fall off his chair. 

"And who said I had a crush," the ace drawled slowly, not noticing how Oikawa tensed up. "I don't have time for crushes."

Suga made a small noise and buried his head in Daichi's shoulder. The call fell silent, the only sound being Karasuno's muffled party from downstairs.

"So," Iwaizumi cleared this throat. "Bokuto, truth or dare?"

"Are you sure you don't have a crush?" Yahaba interrupted. "I mean I've seen the way you look at-"

"Shut up." Seijoh's ace was pure red now. "Look, I don't have a crush, okay?"

Yahaba mumbled something along the lines of "whatever you say" and the game progressed.

"Bokuto-san, truth or dare?"

"Truth, I guess."

"If you had to date anyone in this call, who would it be?"

"Well," he smirked, eyes drifting to Akaashi. "It would obviously be my man, my bro, my number one, Kuroo."

Semi facepalmed.

"Yes, babe, I love you too." Kuroo grinned, flipping him off. Bokuto reacted with a gasp, but nonetheless stuck up his middle finger as well.

Daichi groaned from his box. "You guys suck."

"We know."

Iwaizumi sighed. "It's supposed to be the _t_ _ruth_ , Bokuto-san, but I'll let it slide."

"Oikawa! Truth or dare-- hey are you alive?"

The setter flinched before regaining composture. "I don't know, they're both bad." he paused, scanning the many boxes. "Eita-chan can choose for me."

Semi, who was carding a sleeping Shirabu's hair, answered with a hum. "Dare."

Iwaizumi peered at Oikawa. "Are you okay? You look really tired. Did you overwork yourself again? Goddamnit Oikawa-"

"I'm fine, thanks, Iwa-chan."

"Clearly not, Oikawa, get off the call.."

"Oikawa, leave the call," Semi nodded, agreeing with Iwaizumi. "You look like you might faint."

"What? No. I'm fine." Oikawa had avoided talking up until this point, knowing that he might cry if he did. Now, it looked like he was going to break.

"Fuck, if we were allowed to I would've let you come over, but Shiratorizawa doesn't accept outsiders."

"See, you should've gone to Shiratorizawa." Ushijima talked for the first time in the call, tilting his head up so his face could be visible to the camera. He smirked.

Oikawa seemed to lighten up to that. "Shut up."

Suddenly, a crash sounded from Daichi and Suga's box. The two immediately looked over.

"Boke Hinata boke!! He fell off the table!! What did I tell you?!"

"I can fucking fly, Tobio!"

"What-?" The pinch server immediately stood up, but Daichi looked unfazed.

"Alright, I think that's enough drama for one day." Akaashi cleared his voice as he spoke up. "Bye everyone"

Oikawa merely smiled, clicking off as soon as Akaashi finished. Everyone else said their goodbyes and the boxes disappeared one by one.

.

_call duration: 59:32_

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**what have we created**

**Semi's Face:** Oiks, are you ok?

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** You looked like you were going to cry

**Oikawa's Nothing:** oh yeah, i'm fine

 **Oikawa's Nothing:** my crush doesn't have a crush im fine :)

**Daichi's Thighs:**...

**Daichi's Thighs** changed **Oikawa's Nothing** 's alias to: **Oikawa's Everything**

**Oikawa's Everything:** what-

**Daichi's Thighs:** You know, you're a really great person Oikawa

 **Daichi's Thighs:** Under your really annoying layer

 **Daichi's Thighs:** really really really deep down

**Oikawa's Everything:** wow ok

**Oikawa's Everything:**

**Oikawa's Everything:** really?

 **Oikawa's Everything:** thanks..

**Semi's Face:** we love you :DD

**Ushiwaka's Di-:** There is always a spot open in Shiratorizawa for you

**Oikawa's Everything:** ew stop yall are cheesy

 **Oikawa's Everything:** i'm crying even more now

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**Iwaizumi Hajime**

_**.** _

_Today at 2:26pm_

**(2:36)** **You:** well you fucked up

**(2:36) Iwaizumi Hajime:** yeah no need to rub it in my face yahaba

**(2:36)** **You:** dude why didn't you let me finish my sentence

**(2:36) Iwaizumi Hajime:** oikawa is a womanizer, he's _straight_

**(2:36)** **You:** you

 **(2:36)** **You:** i hate this

 **(2:36)** **You:** fuck everything

 **(2:37)** **You:** you do know that Oikawa's pan right?

**(2:37) Iwaizumi Hajime:** you're joking

**(2:37)** **You:** hey this is your problem not mine

 **(2:37)** **You:** best of luck to you

 **(2:37)** **You:** i thought you were smart

**(2:37) Iwaizumi Hajime:** shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO I JUST CHECKED BACK W/ THE ORIGINAL FIC AND IT HAS 666 LIKES LMAO  
> .  
> one thing it also has is 300 comments??? uh what-- that's something i don't really think is possible with this fic coz the comment ratio compared to the original is really s m a ll --  
> anyway i hope you enjoyed the chaos except the


	9. how to get over iwa-chan; a failed tutorial by oikawa tooru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **(2:36) Shittykawa ❤︎:** anything else??
> 
> **(2:36) You:** Wanna go out on Sunday
> 
> **(2:36) Shittykawa ❤︎:** whatever fine
> 
>  **(2:37) Shittykawa ❤︎:** wait what
> 
>  **(2:37) Shittykawa ❤︎:** is this a date ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > i'm back!! sorry school was a bit of a pain and exams ended like a week ago but school was still kicking my ass sooo  
> > anyway enjoy~!

**every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang**

_december - 3 months until graduation_

**_._ **

_Today at 3:40pm_

**Oikill me:** YOOO

 **Oikill me:** I AM NEW

 **Oikill me:** I HAVE RECREATED MYSELF

**yahaha no:** are you no longer annoying

**Oikill me:** OKAY R U D E

 **Oikill me:** I HAVE GOTTEN OVER MY CRUSH WITH IWAIZUMI

**yahaha no:** wait what

 **yahaha no:** that easily??

**Dadchi:** Anyone gonna talk about how he said Iwaizumi instead of Iwa-chan?

**Oikill me:** oh yeah

 **Oikill me:** i was thinking

 **Oikill me:** iwaizumi always says that when i say iwa-chan its annoying

 **Oikill me:** so i stopped

**yahaha no:** oikawa this doesn't seem like a good idea

 **yahaha no:** you were also avoiding iwaizumi-san the whole day

**Oikill me:** well yeah all i had to do was engross myself with my many fangirls

**yakuwu:** aren't u and iwaizumi-san like childhood friends?

 **yakuwu:** you replaced him that easily?

**Oikill me:** ofc i didn't replace him

 **Oikill me:** well

 **Oikill me:** im trying to

**Dadchi:** this doesn't seem like a great idea...

**Oikill me** added **Ushijima Wakatoshi**

 **Oikill me:** I forgot to 

**Oikill me:** every time

**Oikill me** changed **Ushijima Wakatoshi's** alias to: **Ushiwack me**

 **saltybu:** hey

 **saltybu:** who's he pining for

**Oikill me:** ten doughs

**saltybu:** wait rlly

 **saltybu:** srsly

 **saltybu:** woah

 **saltybu:** questioning his taste in men

 **saltybu:** wait but then my taste in men is bad too

**Semight just die:** wow?? um @ me next time

**saltybu:** i still love you, you fucking bitch

**Semight just die:** i love you you short ass mf

**Oikill me:** ok ew stop

 **Oikill me:** this is gross

**yakuwu:** lmao

**Ushiwack me:** Oh, greetings Tooru

**Oikill me:** bye ushiwaka

**Dadchi:** KJSKASJLA

 **Dadchi:** UPDATE

**yakuwu:** did daichi just keyboard smash

**yahaha no:** 100% approved

**Dadchi:** SHUT UP :)

 **Dadchi:** MY BB CROWS ARE EVOLVING

**Sugamama:** RIGHT???

**yakuwu:** woah

 **yakuwu:** i just realised

 **yakuwu:** when did suga get into this gc??

**yahaha no:** oh

 **yahaha no:** thats simple

 **yahaha no:** the author is dumb and forgot that suga wasn't in this gc

 **yahaha no:** but kept him anyway

**Oikill me:** who?

**Sugamama:** what?

**yahaha no:** what?

 **yahaha no:** anyway spill the tea

**Dadchi:** RIGHT SO

 **Dadchi:** KAGEYAMA AND HINATA GOT TOGETHER

 **Dadchi:** THEY'RE SO CUTE AND DOMESTIC I CRY

**Sugamama:** AND TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI GOT TOGETHER TOO

 **Sugamama:** Apparently Kags and Tsukki had a bet to see who would ask out their crush first

 **Sugamama:** I got to experience the whole thing

 **Sugamama:** And Kageyama was so flustered he didn't know how to act

**Oikill me:** wow even the salty dude?

**kurooster:** omg tsukki finally asked yams out

 **kurooster** **:** cute

**Bokutoes:** wow if first years can do it why cant u oiks

**Oikill me:** shut up

 **Oikill me:** why cant u ask akaashi out

**Bokutoes:** i will

 **Bokutoes:** when i die :)

**kurooster:** same :)

**Sugamama:** Oh god

**Dadchi:** Stop getting off topic

 **Dadchi:** Iwaoi

**Sugamama:** Right, yes, Iwaoi

**Oikill me:** is that supposed to be our ship name?

**kurooster:** yep

 **kurooster:** its a good ship name shut up

**Oikill me:** well

 **Oikill me:** hate to break it to u

 **Oikill me:** but i dont like iwaizumi anymore

**yakuwu:** god stop saying iwaizumi it makes me get shivers

**Oikill me:** but saying iwa-chan is annoying??

**Ushiwack me:** Since when have you cared about what others think?

**Oikill me:** i-

 **Oikill me:** look i just dont want to feel broken anymore

**yakuwu:** welcome to feeling dead inside 24/7

**Oikill me:** wow *sniff* this is such a welcoming place

**yakuwu:** no, fuck you

**yahaha no:** im sure iwaizumi-san likes you

**Oikill me:** are you deaf

 **Oikill me:** he literally said he didnt have a crush

**yahaha no:** maybe he was panicking?

**Oikill me:** ugh whatever

 **Oikill me:** i am crush free

**Dadchi:** No you're not we can all tell

**Oikill me:** help me get over it then

**Sugamama:** Nah, you're good

**Oikill me:** kindly fuck off :)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**Iwaizumi Hajime**

_Today at 2:26_

**(2:26) You:** i 

**(2:26) You:** am so done

**(2:26) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Hello so done

**(2:26) You:** that joke is old, stop it

**(2:26) Iwaizumi Hajime:** What do you need, yahaba?

**(2:26) You:** 1) you rlly fucked up

 **(2:26) You:** 2) oikawa is a mess

 **(2:26) You:** 3) he stopped saying iwa-chan and its giving yaku shivers

 **(2:27) You:** you alr know he likes u right??

**(2:27) Iwaizumi Hajime:** No need to remind me that I fucked up, thanks Yahaba

 **(2:27) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Also Oikawa has never said directly that he liked me how do I know that you're not pulling my leg?

**(2:27) You:**

wow do u rlly not trust me that much

**(2:27) Iwaizumi Hajime:** It's not that I don't trust you

 **(2:27) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Just that I'm really doubtful that Oikawa likes men

**(2:27) You:** I told u he's p a n jesus christ

**(2:27) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Are you sure?

**(2:28) You:** yES!!!!!

**(2:28) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Very sure?

**(2:28) You:** OR FUCKS SAKE

 **(2:28) You:** go ask ushiwaka or smth

**(2:28) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Definitely not

 **(2:28) Iwaizumi Hajime:** I strongly dislike Ushijima

**(2:28) You:** what

 **(2:28) You:** you hate ushiwaka?

**(2:28) Iwaizumi Hajime:** I don't hate him

 **(2:28) Iwaizumi Hajime:** I strongly dislike him

**(2:28) You:** they sound abt the same to me

**(2:29) Iwaizumi Hajime:** They're different, I assure you

**(2:29) You:** whats so bad about him

**(2:29) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Oh, I don't know

 **(2:29) Iwaizumi Hajime:** He just

\- Pisses off Oikawa so much to the point where he rants to me

about how much he hates him

\- Made Oikawa cry

\- Keeps repeating "You should've gone to Shiratorizawa"

\- Makes Oikawa regret his decisions

 **(2:29) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Do I need to go on

**(2:29) You:** ok yeah u made oiks cry too

**(2:29) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Wait what

**(2:29) You:** oops sorry

 **(2:29) You:** not sorry

**(2:29) Iwaizumi Hajime:** I made him cry? When?

**(2:29) You:** yesterday

 **(2:30) You:** for gods sake

 **(2:30) You:** if ur not gonna ask him out at least apologise

 **(2:30) You:** but he's literally tryna get over u

 **(2:30) You:** better snatch him before its too late

**(2:30) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Ughh

 **(2:30) Iwaizumi Hajime:** Alright

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

** Shittykawa ❤︎ **

_Today_ _2:34_

**(2:34) You:** hey

**(2:34) Shittykawa ❤︎:** can i help you??

**(2:34) You:** Did I make you cry yesterday?

**(2:34) Shittykawa ❤︎:** no..?

**(2:34) You:** Are you sure?

**(2:34) Shittykawa ❤︎:** yes, i'm fine iwaizumi thanks

**(2:34) You:** Stop calling me that

 **(2:34) You:** And stop avoiding me at school

**(2:34) Shittykawa ❤︎:** i thought u said it was annoying when i call u iwa-chan

**(2:35) You:** When did I ever say that?

**(2:35) Shittykawa ❤︎:** middle school

**(2:35) You:** I-

 **(2:35) You:** That was ages ago wtf

**(2:35) Shittykawa ❤︎:** eh

 **(2:35) Shittykawa ❤︎:** i remembered

**(2:35) You:** Just

 **(2:35) You:** Can you keep calling me Iwa-chan?

**(2:35) Shittykawa ❤︎:** what a strange request

 **(2:35) Shittykawa ❤︎:** but fine

 **(2:35) Shittykawa ❤︎:** anything else?

**(2:35) You:** Stop avoiding me?

**(2:35) Shittykawa ❤︎:** uh

**(2:35) You:** Look, I'm sorry for whatever the fuck I did

**(2:36) Shittykawa ❤︎:** whatever

 **(2:36) Shittykawa ❤︎:** fine i'll stop avoiding u

 **(2:36) Shittykawa ❤︎:** anything else??

**(2:36) You:** Wanna go out on Sunday

**(2:36) Shittykawa ❤︎:** whatever fine

 **(2:37) Shittykawa ❤︎:** wait what

 **(2:37) Shittykawa ❤︎:** is this a date ;)

**(2:37) You:** No??

 **(2:37) You:** Yes??

**(2:37) Shittykawa ❤︎:** what

**(2:37) You:** Bold of you to assume I know what I'm saying too

 **(2:37) You:** Are you coming or not

**(2:37) Shittykawa ❤︎:** whatever

**(2:37) You:** I'll take that as a yes

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang**

_Today at 2:38_

**Oikill me:** HELLO

 **Oikill me:** UPDATE

 **Oikill me:** I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH IWA-CHAN AGAIN

 **Oikill me:** THIS IS NOT GOOD

**yakuwu:** like you ever fell out of love with him to begin with

**Oikill me:** kindly shut up yaku :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > well.
> 
> NEXT TIME:  
> \- side story filler: how tsukishima and kageyama confessed to their crushes while simultaneously wasting their money on a stupid bet  
> \- kagehina and tsukkiyama fluff <3


	10. side story \\ tsukishima & kageyama get their shit together (uNLIKE SOME PEOPLE)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **salty ass bitch**
> 
> .
> 
> _Today at 12:54pm_
> 
> **(12:54) You:** hey bitch
> 
> **(12:54) salty ass bitch:** why are you talking to me
> 
> **(12:54) You:** it's time to get our shit together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for being dead lmao

**salty ass bitch**

.

_Today at 12:54pm_

**(12:54) You:** hey bitch

**(12:54) salty ass bitch:** why are you talking to me

**(12:54) You:** it's time to get our shit together

**(12:54) salty ass bitch:** its time to get /your/ shit together

 **(12:54) salty ass bitch:** i am perfectly fine

**(12:55)** **You:** aw shit okay i can't wait to ask out a certain green haired pinch server who loves soggy fries\

**(12:55) salty ass bitch:** im sorry what

 **(12:55) salty ass bitch:** do you have a crush on yams...

**(12:55)** **You:** omg how did you know you're SUCH a good guesser

**(12:55) salty ass bitch:**...

**(12:55)** **You:** ugh no i don't i obviously have a crush on hinata are you out of ur mind

**(12:55) salty ass bitch:** bitch okay

 **(12:55) salty ass bitch:** what the fuck do you want

 **(12:55) salty ass bitch:** and i don't like yams, incase that was what you were implying

**(12:56) You:** sure you don't

 **(12:56) You:** i'm here to make a deal right here right now

**(12:56) salty ass bitch:**...go on

**(12:56) You:** we. confess. tonight.

 **(12:56) You:** the person who confesses and gets a boyfriend first has to buy the other person something

**(12:56) salty ass bitch:** no that's a stupid ass bet

 **(12:56) salty ass bitch:** i'm not doing it

**(12:56) You:** ah well i guess i will go on to have a great,,loving relationship

 **(12:56) You:** while you don't have the guts to ask yamaguchi out

 **(12:56) You:** oh the horror,,,how i should have listened to kageyamaaa

**(12:57) salty ass bitch:** BITCH fine

 **(12:57) salty ass bitch:** i'll do it. what do i get

**(12:57) You:** XL Dinosaur Plushie, colour green.

**(12:57) salty ass bitch:** fine. i'm guessing if you win i have to buy you something related to milk?

**(12:57) You:** ur smart.

 **(12:57) You:** yes, buy me milk everyday for the next 2 months

**(12:57) salty ass bitch:** UGH fine. 

**(12:57) salty ass bitch:** you're on, king

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**boke <3**

_._

_Today at 6:30_

**(6:30) You:**...

**(6:30)** **boke <3: **oh no what did i do

 **(6:30)** **boke <3: **IM SORRY I STOLE UR MILK CARTON AT LUNCH YESTERDAY

**(6:30) You:** you did WH A T.

**(6:30)** **boke <3: **uh...

**(6:30) You:** agh,,anyway

 **(6:30) You:** i need to talk to you about something

**(6:31)** **boke <3: **oh! yes, what is it?

**(6:31) You:** ummmm

 **(6:31) You:** can you open your door

**(6:31)** **boke <3: **are you at my house???

**(6:31) You: ...** just open the door

**(6:31)** **boke <3: **i'm scared wtf bakeyama what is happening

**(6:31) You:** open

 **(6:31) You:** the

 **(6:31) You:** goddamn

 **(6:31) You:** door

**(6:32)** **boke <3: **chill i'm doing it now

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**yamaguchi was here <33**

.

_Today at 6:35_

**(6:35)** **You:** Hey, can we talk for a second?

**(6:35) yamaguchi was here <33: **hey tsukki!! i always have time to talk to you <3333

**(6:35)** **You:** great so uh

 **(6:35)** **You:** i...like you? and have for a really long ass time

 **(6:35)** **You:** stupid milkman forced me into confessing

 **(6:36)** **You:** this is really fucking dumb im so fuckin sorry ill just go...

**(6:36) yamaguchi was here <33: **wait a sec

 **(6:36) yamaguchi was here <33: **you..../like/ me?

 **(6:36) yamaguchi was here <33: **like, as in, LOVE me?

 **(6:36) yamaguchi was here <33:** as in, want to be my boyfriend..like?

**(6:36)** **You:** um..yeah

 **(6:36)** **You:** 'm sorry for telling you to shut up all the time...

**(6:36) yamaguchi was here <33: **AWW TSUKKIIIIII

 **(6:36) yamaguchi was here <33: **I LOVE YOU TOO

**(6:36)** **You:** Really??

**(6:36) yamaguchi was here <33: **YES!! ILYSMM

**(6:37)** **You:** ohmyfuckinggod

 **(6:37)** **You:** so...boyfriend?

**(6:37) yamaguchi was here <33: **ofCOURSE!

 **(6:37) yamaguchi was here <33: **i love you

**(6:37)** **You:** i love you too <3

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**Kageyama Tobio**

_Would you like to save this  
_ _account in your contacts?_

> **Yes** < No

_Edit > **Kageyama Tobio**_

Change Contact Name: ________________

_Change contact name to **Milk Man?**_

_Save?_

> **Yes** < No

_Saving..._

_Save successful!_

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**Milk Man**

.

_Today at 7:03pm_

**(7:03)** **You:** hey, how did it go?

**(7:45) Milk Man:** sorry,,just got back home

 **(7:45) Milk Man:** SO IT WAS HEAVENLY.

 **(7:45) Milk Man:** I SNUCK OUT TO GO TO SHOU'S HOUSE

 **(7:45) Milk Man:** AND THEN I CONFESSED IN FRONT OF HIS MOM & SISTER

 **(7:45) Milk Man:** HE CRIED

 **(7:45) Milk Man:** THEN WE WATCHED THIS SERIES I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION COZ I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT HINATA'S MY BOYFRIEND NOW

 **(7:46) Milk Man:** AND THEN MY MOM CALLED ME SO I HAD TO GO HOME :((

 **(7:46) Milk Man:** SAJKDLKAJ SO CUTE ANYWAY WBU

**(7:47) You:** umm yeah i confessed over text

**(7:47) Milk Man:** HWAT

 **(7:47) Milk Man:** everyone FUCKING KNOWS THAT YOU DON'T ASK PEOPLE OUT OVER TEXT!!!!

**(7:47) You:** Yeah but im a sucker for convenience so stfu

 **(7:47) You:** and i still got a boyfriend

**(7:47) Milk Man:** still hate you

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

**Karasue Us™**

.

_Today at 8:06pm_

**Sunshine Boy >w>: **KAGEYAMA!!! CAN WE TELL THEM

**Milk Boy /w\ :** sure!

**wine mom™:** what

**Strawberry Boy 'w':** OOO TSUKKIII CAN WE TOO??

**Dinosaur Boy ;v;:** of course <3

**suffering dad™:** WHAT IS THIS?? TSUKISHIMA ARE YOU OKAY

**wine mom™:** im scared who are you what did you do to tsukishima

**rolling noya:** WHAT HAPPENED??!!?!?!

**Sunshine Boy >w>:** BAKAYAMA AND I ARE DATING

**Strawberry Boy 'w':** SAME WITH ME AND TSUKKI!!

 **Strawberry Boy 'w':** omg OUR ANNEVERSARIES ARE ON THE SAME DAY!!

**Sunshine Boy >w>:** WAIT THATS SO COOL

**suffering dad™:** suga,,you thinking what im thinking

**wine mom™:** yep. so disappointed

**Dinosaur Boy ;v;:** wait why

**wine mom™:** I CANT BELIEVE 4 FIRST YEARS GOT TOGETHER BEFORE THEY DID LMAOOO

**suffering dad™:** cryign

**jeSUS:**..??

 **jeSUS:** oh for fucks sake who changed my name to this

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

_**E-Bae Japan** _

**Item**

_Life-Sized Dinosaur Plushie 100% Cotton, easy wash, (green) > added to cart_

_★★★★☆ 4.2 stars_

_\- ¥2748.93_

_+¥742.95 shipping_

_total ¥3491.89_

_Would you like to confirm your purchase?_

> **Yes** < No

_Tracking Number 694206969  
_

_Click here_ _to track your purchase_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so most of you probably don't know but in this chapter i just said fuck you to the original fic because i wrote it /so/ badly that i barely even referenced it :')  
> >> so in the original fic i called suga / mom, daichi / dad and asahi /jesus, but here, a few months later with this remake, i don't exactly agree with what i wrote in the original fic. ngl, it makes me cringe uhhh  
> >>> suga is more of a wine aunt to me, i stand by daichi's name and i like to think people call asahi jesus but he doesn't like it lmao
> 
> anyway time to disappear for another month
> 
> NEXT TIME:  
> \- OIKAWA'S DATE  
> \- kneecap kink?  
> \- oikawa's gay crisis  
> \- chaos


End file.
